Puns for those with a higher IQ

[Coddy]

Puns for those with a higher IQ (Apologies if I have included you by mistake)

 

 

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

 

 

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

 

 

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

 

 

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

 

 

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

 

 

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

 

 

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

 

 

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

 

 

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

 

 

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

 

 

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

 

 

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

 

 

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

 

 

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

 

 

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

 

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

 

 

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

 

 

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

 

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

 

 

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

 

 

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

 

 

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

 

 

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

 

 

Every calendar's days are numbered.

 

 

A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

 

 

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 

 

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

 

 

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at

large.

 

 

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

 

 

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

 

 

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.