Love Greens jokes

[gjb]

Two Greens voters are filling up at a petrol station, and the first Greenie says to the second,

           “I bet these awful fuel prices are going to go even higher.”

            The second Greenie replies, “Won’t affect me, I always put in just $10 worth.”

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One day, a Greenie’s husband came home from the office and found his wife, Christine Milne, sobbing convulsively.
“I feel terrible,” she told him. “I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I bought an extra pair of trousers for that suit.”
“Yes, and it's lucky for you that you did,” Christine said, drying her eyes. “I used them to patch the hole.”

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Two Greenies were walking down the road and the first one said to the other Greenie, Adam Bandt, “Look at that dog with one eye!”
Adam covers one of his eyes and says, “Where?”

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A Greenie decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her Greenie friend, Sarah Hanson-Young, from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
“Sarah,” she said, “how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?”
“Ten,” said Sarah.
So the Greenie bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had two rolls leftover. “Sarah,” she said, “I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got two leftover!”
“Yes,” said Sarah. “So did I.”

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A Greenie, Richard Di Natalie, bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that he cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's tail. Our Greenie friend was stuck again.
The neighbor then suggested that he notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again, our Greenie friend Richard couldn't tell the two horses apart.
The neighbor then suggested that he measure the horses for height. When he did that, Richard was very pleased to find that the white horse was two inches taller than the black one.

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Greenie Interview
The executive was interviewing a Greenie, Bob Brown, for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about his personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with any person, living or dead, who would that be?”
Bob quickly responded, “The living one."

 

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[Matt]

Not a freebie joke but the new girl in the office today answered 59000 to the question how many people voted conservative in the 2010 election. Very worrying she has A grades ALevel maths and politics