Great Truths

[Paul J]

 

 

_GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:_**

>> >

>> > 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.

>> > 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

>> > 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch

>> > the second person.

>> > 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

>> > 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

>> > 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

>> > 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

>> > 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

>> > 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

>> > 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.**

>> >

>> >

>> > **_

>> > GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:_**

>> >

>> > 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

>> > 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

>> > 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

>> > 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

>> > 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

>> > 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the

>> > toy.*

>> >

>> > *

>> > **_GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD_**

>> >

>> > 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

>> > 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

>> > 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're

>> > down there.

>> > 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking

>> > chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

>> > 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers

>> > to ask you the questions.

>> > 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

>> > 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

>> > **

>> >

>> > **_THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:_**

>> >

>> > **1) You believe in Santa Claus.

>> > 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.

>> > 3) You are Santa Claus.

>> > 4) You look like Santa Claus.**