Paul J Posted March 29, 2006 Report Posted March 29, 2006 _GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:_** >> > >> > 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats. >> > 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. >> > 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch >> > the second person. >> > 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. >> > 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. >> > 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. >> > 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. >> > 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. >> > 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. >> > 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.** >> > >> > >> > **_ >> > GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:_** >> > >> > 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. >> > 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. >> > 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. >> > 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. >> > 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. >> > 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the >> > toy.* >> > >> > * >> > **_GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD_** >> > >> > 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. >> > 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. >> > 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're >> > down there. >> > 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking >> > chair that you once got from a roller coaster. >> > 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers >> > to ask you the questions. >> > 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. >> > 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. >> > ** >> > >> > **_THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:_** >> > >> > **1) You believe in Santa Claus. >> > 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. >> > 3) You are Santa Claus. >> > 4) You look like Santa Claus.** Quote
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