A Happy (only If You Want To Celibrate)

[Afishionado]

 

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR.

 

All I wanted to say was "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year".....

 

So, I ran it past my solicitor on the grounds that I don't want to upset anybody in these politically correct times, (one has to cover one's arse) and this is what she came up with.

 

From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee"):

 

Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

 

We wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

 

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-

 

* This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.

 

* This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.

 

This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.

 

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

 

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

 

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

 

Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

 

This greeting is made under English Law

 

Mad Mike

 

 

[Swainiac]

Mike, you are truly off your trolley!!

Seasons greetings chap, to you and your family.

 

Rich

[Fugazi]

Mike's observations are not so tongue in cheek as you might think, the company I work for presented its apprentice awards today and the HR director made an interesting comment. Apparently we are no longer permitted to use the term "young" when describing employees such as apprentices as it infringes the new legislation on ageism in the workplace.

 

 

Gordon H

[Manic Moore]

 

I put an advertisment out for lorry drivers a few days ago and HR got all flustered because I said that applicants needed to be "fit and healthy" due to the physical nature of the job. I was respectfully informed that this was impling that the job might only be suitable for younger people! It was suggested that something along the lines of "the job entails a fair amount of heavy lifting and physical effort"

 

You can imagine my responce

[Afishionado]

I put an advertisment out for lorry drivers a few days ago and HR got all flustered because I said that applicants needed to be "fit and healthy" due to the physical nature of the job. I was respectfully informed that this was impling that the job might only be suitable for younger people! It was suggested that something along the lines of "the job entails a fair amount of heavy lifting and physical effort"

 

You can imagine my responce

In fact you can turn the tables on HR very nicely as they have transgressed the ADA by sugesting that 'fit and healthy' might infer that the job was only suitable for younger people. Surely by that analogy they are sugesting that THEY think that it is not possible to be fit and health when over a certain age.

Fire the lot of them and get an old bloke like me who can think things through

 

Mad Mike

[Newboy]

Yeah, but Human Resources will get the lot if the h*t hit the fan so they are merely hinding their ass so you can't find it.

[great white]

Hi its a joke this PC wording of adverts

 

a recent advert at the Club saw 32 responses for a boatmans job

 

Some were as young as 16 oldest 55

 

the most worrying was that some of the applicants had never done any boating.

 

Charlie