There's a moral to this

[plaicemat]

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds a homework task, which was to

get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

 

The next day the children returned to class and, one by one, began to

tell their stories.

 

Karl said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying

chickens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the

front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the

eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

 

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

 

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

 

"Very good," said the teacher.

 

Next little Emilie raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers

too" but we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs,

but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this

story is:

 

Don't count your chickens before they're hatched".

 

"That was a fine story Emilie".

 

"Mick, do you have a story to share?"

 

"Yes, Miss. My dad told me this story about my Aunt Sharon. Aunt Sharon was

a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She

had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was 3 bottles of

rum, a machine gun and a machete. She drank all the rum on the way down

so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100

enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she

ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until

the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

 

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your

father tell you from that horrible story?"

 

"Stay out of the ******* way when Aunt Sharon's been on the piss."

 

 

 

[gaffa]

Nice One Terry

 

 

Reminded me of the wife in some ways

 

 

but she doesn't need the booze