Australian humour

[plaicemat]

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party

and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Colin,

the only aborigine in the neighbourhood.

 

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns,

oysters and BBQ and flirting. At the height of the party, the host

said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a

million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'

 

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash

and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the

croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches,

doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and chokeholds, biting the

croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind

of Judo Instructor.

 

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the

croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Colin strangled the

croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.

 

Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring

at him in disbelief.

 

The host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

 

'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it', said Colin.

 

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the

bet. How about half a million bucks then?'

 

'No thanks. I don't want it,' answered Colin.

 

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was

amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'

 

Again, Colin said no.

 

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?'

 

 

 

 

Colin said, "I want the bastard who pushed me in".'

 

Terry.

 

[plaicemat]

This one should be more obvious

 

Terry.