Putting Your Affairs In Order

[Steve S]

Jim was feeling rough and went to see his doctor.

 

                         The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news Jim. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

 

Jim was shocked, but managed to compose himself and walk into the waiting room where his son was waiting.

'Well, son, we men celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well.

In this case, things aren't so good.  I have cancer.  So, let's head down to the local and have a few pints to drown our sorrows.'

 

Well after 3 or 4 pints, the two were feeling a little less down. There were some laughs and few more pints.

 

They were eventually approached by some of the Jim's old friends, who were wondering just what was being celebrated.

 

Jim told his friends they were drinking to his impending end.  'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave Jim their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

 

After the friends left, the Jim's son leaned over and whispered, 'Dad, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS!  Why did you do that?'

 

'Because I don't want any of those bastards sleeping with your mother after I'm gone.'

 

 

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'