Men go shopping!

[Coddy]

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping.

 

This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

 

Dear Mrs. Murray,

 

Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

 

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

 

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove.

 

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

 

8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

 

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

 

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

 

11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

 

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

 

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

 

And; last, but not least:

 

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

 

 

 

[niggle]

I don`t understand this letter because I`ve never shopped in Tesco in Banbury and my surname isn`t Murray?

Edited March 2, 2010 by niggle

[mw]

I thought it was mint

[wrasster]

Haven't laughed so much for ages - neither has my son,who works at Tescos, and wishes he was at Banbury!!

 

Steve

[Jim]

O.K. Silly season's here again.

 

My turn now !

 

 

 

 

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra .

 

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.

We're the same age,

We were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.'

 

'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'

 

'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.

 

'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'

 

'Down the other side of the lake near the parking lot by the Parliament House.'

 

'Same here. Hmm.....How do you catch them?'

 

'Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door.

Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'

 

'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not

getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an arsehole and a briefcase.