niggle Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 (edited) Dr Jones has to let a Mrs Smith know her test results,but he's got all the Smith files muddled up.He sorts through them and narrows it down to 2. He phones her house and Mr Smith answers and enquires to her ailment ,well the doctor says your wife either has aides or alzhiemers . How do I know enquires Mr Smith? The doctor advises ; Take your wife into the other side of town and leave her there. If she finds her way home don't make love to her Old ones are the best Edited October 27, 2010 by niggle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 My wife thinks I'm immature, in fact, she want me to sit down with her and discuss the problem. Yeah right, like I'm goin to do that in the middle of the conker season! Gordon H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 My wife thinks I'm immature, in fact, she want me to sit down with her and discuss the problem. Yeah right, like I'm goin to do that in the middle of the conker season! Gordon H Gordon I've pinched that and used it as my status on Facebook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham Nash Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 so did I Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham Nash Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 A guy is driving around the back woods of Bournemouth when he sees a sign in front of a broken down council house 'Talking Dog For Sale'. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador sitting there. "You talk?" he says. "Yup" the dog replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog speak, he says "So, what's your story?" The Labrador looks up and says, "Well. I discovered I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the country, so I told the Government. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping." "I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals." "I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm retired." The guys is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten quid." the guy says. "Ten pounds? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that sh!t." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fisherman1055 Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 In Memoriam With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham Nash Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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