From the mouths of babes......

[Paul J]

 

 

Children Writing About the Ocean...

 

 

 

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly,

age 6)

 

 

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

 

 

 

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have

ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

 

 

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily

Richardson . She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

 

 

 

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy,

age 8)

 

 

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots

and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

 

 

 

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the

ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to

make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating

beans. (William, age 7)

 

 

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I

like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like,

really? (Helen, age 6)

 

 

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always

crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got

pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

 

 

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give

you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they

have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

 

 

 

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my

willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

 

 

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't

go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

 

 

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going

very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her

big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

 

 

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I

don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

 

 

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What

he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James,

age 7)

 

 

 

If you didn't smile at one of these, you need to find a better sense of

humour.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jim]

Had this Today.

 

 

 

 

"Cloud computing"? - Sounds like a cirrus business.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. - But the details are sketchy.

A man was addicted to brake fluid. - He said that he could stop anytime.

A very old man died whilst out jogging. - He had had a good run.

Gadget to get spice from the future. - A Thyme machine.

He worked at an orange juice factory. - Until he got canned and couldn't concentrate.

How did I get out of Iraq? - Iran.

I am reading a book about anti-gravity. - It is impossible to put down.

I stayed up all night, wondering where the sun gad gone. - Then it dawned on me.

Never marry a tennis player. - Love means nothing to them.

Phone sex is dangerous. - You might get hearing aids.

The Decorator painted my wall for free. - He said it was on the house.

They said that his I-Pod was like the Titanic. - It was syncing.

To make Holy Water. - Boil the hell out of it.

Velcro. - What a rip off.

Venison for dinner. - Oh deer!

What makes a good gossip. - A good sense of rumour.

Why couldn't the Butcher reach the meat? - The steaks were too high.

You can get dead batteries. - Free of charge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[pirky]

Quote ...

 

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy,

age 8)

 

UNQUOTE

 

I know a few people like that !!

 

Dave

[Jim]

Quote ...

 

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy,

age 8)

 

UNQUOTE

 

I know a few people like that !!

 

Dave

Usually Bosses ! ! !