There's got to be a few groans here !!!!

[gjb]

There's got to be a few groans here !!!!

> >
> > Paddy decides to take up
> > boxing and goes for the required medical.
> >
> > A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Paddy, you
> > realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.”
> >
> > Paddy says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”
> >
> > ..........................................................................
> >
> >
> >
> > It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey.
> >
> > But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all
> > about.
> >
> > ........................................................................
> >
> > George caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill
> > her and himself.
> >
> > He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says,
> >
> > "Don't laugh, your next!!"
> >
> > ..........................................................................
> >

> > Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad,
> > I've got a part in the school play as a man who's
> > been married for 25 years."
> >
> > His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time
> > you'll get a speaking part!!"
> >
> > ..........................................................................
> >
> >
> >
> > Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.
> >
> > Mick says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices
> > are reasonable too."
> >
> > Paddy agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
> >
> > 3 weeks later Mick says to Paddy "Has your woman
> > turned up yet?"
> >
> > "No" said Paddy "but it shouldn't be
> > long now though.
> >

> > Her clothes arrived yesterday!!
> >
> > ..........................................................................
> >
> > A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks,
> >
> > " I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
> >
> > The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a
> > little patient."
> >
> > ..........................................................................
> >
> >
> >
> > Police have just released details of a new drug craze that
> > is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs.
> >
> > Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting
> > Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
> >
> > Police say the dangerous practice is called
> >
> > "e by gum"
> >
> > ..........................................................................
> >
> > A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
> >
> > Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about
> > me cat."
> >
> > Vet: "Is it a tom?"
> >
> > Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
> >
> > ..........................................................................
> >
> >
> >
> > A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet
> > he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to
> > remember the dog by.
> >
> > Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon
> > dog?"
> >
> > Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
> >
> > Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft
> > ######!"
> >
> > ..........................................................................
> >
> >
> >
> > The last is always best.
> >
> > Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then
> > lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
> >
> > Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or
> > Cornetto?"
> >

 

[Jim]