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A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex? "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now." Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eyeing each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted. Rear toilet? He suggests. Five minutes, she agrees and goes off. He waits five minutes, then goes and slips in there with her. Right, get that condom on, she says. Soon, they are both sighing with pleasure. But a sharp eyed stewardess has noticed them, and realized what they are up to, So, she humiliates them by making an announcement over the PA system. "To the lady and gentleman in the rear toilet, we know what you are doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now, please put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector." And what were you thinking? I worry about you sometimes! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

We got out again last Friday. On the water for 2 ish Back in for 6:30 ish Jacqui had 3 mackerel and some fat bloke nicked one of them for bait. I had 4 doggies and what I think was a Thornback. Big spikes on his back which made my fingers bleed. Lesson learned ! We both got a bit tanned and thoroughly enjoyed it. This weather's great for boating and fishing but all those jobs will sneak up on me later in the year. Ah well! Enjoy it while we can.

If anyone is interested the RNLI Poole Lifeboat station by the old town bridge has its open day on Sunday 5th August starts at 11am until 5pm Water demos, BBQ, raffle and "have a go stalls" A good family event Everyone is welcome Dave