Jim

The Missing Wife   The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Twillingate, Newfoundland man answered his door to find two grim-faced RCMP officers.   "We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife," said one of the officers.   "Tell me...did you find her?!"  Cedric Flynn asked.   The Mounties looked at each other.  Then one said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news.  Which would you like to hear first?"   Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."   The RCMP officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."   "Lord sufferin' Jesus!" exclaimed Flynn.  Swallowing hard, he asked, "What could possibly be the good news?"   The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her.   Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 1960's, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."   Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"   The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."        

Aaaaaahhh..........cabin fever !!!

Dear President Putin
 Save yourself billions of roubles, don't bother developing super-cruise missiles, send us two days of your winter weather and about 3" of snow, ............. it has much the same effect and paralyses the UK

Don't blame me Brian started it 

A sailor and a pirate are in a bar recounting their adventures at sea. Seeing the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the sailor asks: “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”
The pirate replies: “We were caught in a huge storm and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as me crew were pullin’ me out a school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off.”
“Blimey!” said the sailor . “And how’d you get the hook?”
“Arrrr…”, mused the old salt, “I got into a fight over a woman in a bar, and me hand got chopped off.”
“Blimey!” remarked the sailor. “And how about the eye patch?”
“Oh that,” said the pirate, looking embarrassed. A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye.”
“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the questioner asked incredulously.
“Well…” said the old sea dog, ” it was me first day with the hook.”

 

I worry that Brian reacted to this one😂😂😂😂

Two sailors are talking:
Sailor A: “I hear fish is good brain food.”
Sailor B: “Yeah, I eat it all the time.”
Sailor A: “Well, there goes another theory!”

 

Be CAREFUL
This is for all of you 70 + year-olds, and those of us closing in on the "Golden Years".
This is something that happened at an assisted living center. 

The people who lived there have small apartments but they
all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents 
didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the door and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly so she went back to the dining area.

An hour later he still hadn't arrived so she went back up towards his
room and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain and just wanted to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast.

When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get
up even the first step so they called an ambulance for him. A couple
hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The
receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in
one leg of his boxer shorts.

I am sending this to my children so that they don’t sell the house
before they know all the facts.

A gynecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could.
When time for the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, she was surprised to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%.
Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting.â€
The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the exhaust !

Rugby tickets
England v Ireland March 17 St Patrick’s Day Twickenham
 
This may be of interest to one of you. A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box for England v Ireland 17th Mar. He paid £300 each, but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.
 
It's at Marylebone Registry Office, at 4.30pm. The bride's name is Nicole -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook.
 

Nice and toasty !! Good job !


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Here's the end of the story.
 
There was no blade fuse, mine was connected to a circuit breaker, the heater itself had a fan fault. The estimated cost to repair was very close to the price for a complete new Webasto heater with all the bits!
 
A no brainer really, I bought a new one and fitted that instead. It did need a bit of adaptation as the wiring loom needed changing and there was some other more minor differences.
 
All fitted and working now and left on during this cold weather, seems to be working well. As bonus it is noticeably quieter than the old one.
 
So unfortunately even doing the work myself it proved to be not a cheap repair, but the old one was 11 years old and now I am using a brand new one .
 
 
 
 

Thanks all , I had a few days off holiday planned , determined to get the new boat sorted and on the water , it didn't happen , it's far to cold to mess about this week !

Happy Birthday Hooky.
Hope all's good.
 
Jim
 

Brilliant, the wifey had a giggle thinking her luck had changed ! 

Keep it clean, this is a family show!!!

R

Yes Jimbo , Chris did the business ( and also bunged in a spare anchor, rods, reels et etc so hence I'm just about ready to go after a fish of some sort 
 
All donators will of course be coming out to play wether they want to or not !! 
 
Shes a a big old girl , will take 3/4 members so need to teach them all I know 
Monday morning 10:30 until 10; 50 should be fine 

Some say it’s an illness!!
Me I just think it’s love of the peace and tranquility fishing provides !! Can’t put a price on a mans (or woman’s (or transgender etc etc)) happiness !!


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Last few minor issues , the old carbs got taken off to be "sonically " cleaned.
The old jets were totally shot and had to be changed , two had been put in crossed threaded !! 
The impeller housing was also very worn , I'm not sure how but that had also been put on wrong !!!! 
Very close to my end price as to what a old Yamaha is worth , at least it actually came for free (as such ) with the boat
 
I still need to sort out the Auxillary Transom bracket , I'm not going to wrisk going  far without a buddy boat , even a fully re- built main engine needs to be tested.
 
I would love to give a very, very big  to the ' Hookys totally skint and needs anything " to Alan, Jimbo,Chris  for all the donated gear , I'm feeling very humbled by the generous support from this club  .
Weird how thing happen , I took a big gamble on what had been described as a project boat , it turn out  it was 90% complete and in superb condition .
 
I also believed 6 or so months of hard work could be needed , rip up old deck, glass in new floor etc etc its taken a month ! So not a project at all !! 
 
Ah , money , yes that again ! No way would I be looking at the March bream competition, to raise a few £££ I'm selling my old Mariner 60 , selling my fuel gulping Mercedes ( getting a crappy old Focus instead !!! ) etc etc just to try and get out fishing  and enter a few club comps 
 
Why do we do all this for a few fish ???? 
Total madness !

Update ! Looking at a maiden voyage next week 

Now sorted.

Reminds me of the old Labour election slogan, 'Labour is the Answer'. Some wit wrote underneath, 'it must have been a bloody silly question'.