_GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:_**
>> >
>> > 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
>> > 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
>> > 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
>> > the second person.
>> > 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
>> > 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
>> > 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
>> > 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
>> > 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
>> > 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
>> > 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.**
>> >
>> >
>> > **_
>> > GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:_**
>> >
>> > 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
>> > 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
>> > 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
>> > 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
>> > 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
>> > 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the
>> > toy.*
>> >
>> > *
>> > **_GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD_**
>> >
>> > 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
>> > 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
>> > 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
>> > down there.
>> > 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
>> > chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
>> > 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers
>> > to ask you the questions.
>> > 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
>> > 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>> > **
>> >
>> > **_THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:_**
>> >
>> > **1) You believe in Santa Claus.
>> > 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
>> > 3) You are Santa Claus.
>> > 4) You look like Santa Claus.**