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A gynecologist had a burning desire to change careers and become a mechanic. So she found out from her local tech college what was involved, signed up for evening classes and attended diligently, learning all she could. When time for the practical exam approached, she prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, she was surprised to find that she had obtained a mark of 150%. Fearing an error, she called the instructor, saying “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting.†The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark. I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it THROUGH the exhaust !

Rugby tickets England v Ireland March 17 St Patrick’s Day Twickenham This may be of interest to one of you. A friend of mine has two tickets in a corporate box for England v Ireland 17th Mar. He paid £300 each, but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. It's at Marylebone Registry Office, at 4.30pm. The bride's name is Nicole -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook.

Dear President Putin Save yourself billions of roubles, don't bother developing super-cruise missiles, send us two days of your winter weather and about 3" of snow, ............. it has much the same effect and paralyses the UK

A sailor and a pirate are in a bar recounting their adventures at sea. Seeing the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the sailor asks: “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies: “We were caught in a huge storm and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as me crew were pullin’ me out a school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off.” “Blimey!” said the sailor . “And how’d you get the hook?” “Arrrr…”, mused the old salt, “I got into a fight over a woman in a bar, and me hand got chopped off.” “Blimey!” remarked the sailor. “And how about the eye patch?” “Oh that,” said the pirate, looking embarrassed. A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye.” “You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the questioner asked incredulously. “Well…” said the old sea dog, ” it was me first day with the hook.”

Two sailors are talking: Sailor A: “I hear fish is good brain food.” Sailor B: “Yeah, I eat it all the time.” Sailor A: “Well, there goes another theory!”

I worry that Brian reacted to this one😂😂😂😂

Don't blame me Brian started it