Jim

Hi Jason, I used Poole Marine services. Based on West Quay Road http://www.poolemarine.co.uk/ tel: 01202 677387 They came to my house, did a first class job at a fair price. Jim

Nice one Paul.

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blond was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

Senior health care solution - So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you - what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 MP

The REAL meaning of the Haynes instructions Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise . Translation : Clamp with mole grips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you? Haynes: Should remove easily. Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with a hammer. Haynes: This is a snug fit . Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer. Haynes: This is a tight fit . Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer. Haynes: As described in Chapter 7... Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox. Haynes: Pry... Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into... Haynes: Undo... Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (industrial size). Haynes: Ease ... Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ... Haynes: Retain tiny spring... Translation: "Crikey what was that, it nearly had my eye out"! Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb... Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards. Haynes: Lightly... Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly". Haynes: Weekly checks... Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it! Haynes: Routine maintenance... Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be! Haynes: One spanner rating (simple). Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up? Haynes: Two spanner rating. Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you). Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate). Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start. Haynes: Four spanner rating. Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you plebe! Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert). Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!! Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.

Happy Birthday Reg.

Trust PINK Rob

Gary: they've sold 4 this week. It's been a slow start, but I think the sunshine's bringing them out. Mick: She wants to sell the boat, dig up the drive and plant vegetables. Once I've shifted this chest infection, I'll be Out ! ! ! Jim

Balancing a Kayak with a 4 ft smoothie on your hook is prety good. Balancing a Kayak with a 4 ft smoothie on your hook and making a video at the same time Mark. Superb ! ! ! I have to take my hat off to you blokes. Well Done. Jim

Keep it up lads ! Free advertising - - - Wicked ! If I ever get out, We could compare my double ones. ( Tubes - not Chins Rob ! ) Jim

There's a sales pitch Dave ! Doubles up as a radar reflector.

Ditto Graham. You did fancy the Raider over the Warrior so I'm not surprised. Just like Christmas then is it ? ? ? Can't wait ! ! ! ! Jim

Well, speaking modestly as the designer of these fine baguette holders. The are the Dog's Bits ! ! ! Jim

Looks similar to mine Dave. Are they the blue connectors ? I think the newer ones are red. If so, he can try it on mine. Jim

Just been for a week in North Humberside, and chatting to some locals in a pub I learned something new. Here, holiday - makers are called " Grockles " by the locals. Up there, holiday - makers are called " Comforts " by the locals. " I've Comfort Weekend " " I've Comfort Peace n Quiet " " I've Comfort Read mi Paper " " I've Comfort Bingo " " I've Comfort Roll up mi trouser legs and Paddle in'T Sea " " I've Comfort - - - - - - - - - - " Made I Laugh ! ! ! ! Jim

I've already got Mine

Made Jacquie Laugh ! ! And Me ! !

Blimey Sam ! You'll be as old as MARTIN soon ! Happy birthday Lad. Jim

Reminds me of years ago when I ( oops ) a friend of mine was looking for a crack for a program ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Don't ever search for " crack " when your wife is behind you ( unless you can duck quickly ) Jim

Had a phone call Today. No Whale Tails available for six weeks, so I cancelled the order. I may have to make one. Jim

Yes please Harry Jim

Thanks Adam, Good of you to share it with us. Once I overcome my lack of bites, I may get to try it. Jim

05:30 am and just watched the slideshow. Fantastic. - - Well done Lads. Jim

Got a really hard Job then Mark. Let's hope your boss doesn't visit this site. OH I SEE - - - - - during your lunch break. Jim

These are supposedly better than the Doel Fins. I'll leave the order running and give it a go. I'll try it out next week if the weather man smiles favourably. Jim