niggle

I'll give it a go if u bring it to Nuffield Motors.....no promises Nige

Three of us

Well done,i think youre in with a chance this year for the species Nige

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes Up, and yells at me for staying out so late!" His friend looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say!, WHO'S HORNY????!!!" and she acts like she's sound asleep! Works Every Time!!!

Two builders, Phil and Eric, are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a welldressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit. Phil: I reckon he's an accountant. Eric: No way he's a stockbroker. Phil: He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here! The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder. Phil: Scuse me.. no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living? Suit: No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession. Phil: Oh! What's that then? Suit: I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home? Phil: Er... mmm..well yeah, I do as it happens! Suit: Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it? Phil: It's in a pond! Suit: Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then? Phil: As it happens, yes I have got a big garden! Suit: Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house? Phil: As it happens I've got a fivebedroom house...built it myself! Suit: Well given that you've built a fivebedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married? Phil: Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children. Suit: Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis? Phil: Yep! Four nights a week! Suit: Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often? Phil: Me? Never. Suit: Well there you are! That's logical science at work! Phil: How's that then? Suit: Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life! Phil: I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate! Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate. Eric: I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does? Phil: Yep! He's a logical scientist! Eric: What's that then? Phil: I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish? Eric: Nope. Phil: Well then, you're a w@nker.

I'll save u Graham A girl was sitting in a rail carriage on her own, quietly reading a book, until a scruffy bloke got into and sat directly opposite her. He started shelling and eating a large carton of king prawns, whilst flicking the empty shells all over the floor and the girl. This continued for most of the journey, with a few insults being hurled at the girl for good measure. The bloke finally finished the prawns, at which point she got up, picked up the empty carton and proceeded to put all the empty shells in the carton. When she had cleaned up any trace of the prawns she threw everything out of the carriage window and pulled the emergency cord. The train came to a dramatic halt and the bloke laughed and said "What did ya do that for, you'll get fined

I bypass my bow roller and run it through two extra skean cleats ......works a treat Nige

Welcome Nick,it would be great to have a chat rather than just a passing wave Might be able to pinch some of you're marks seeing as some toe rag has pinched mine and my plotter All the best Nige

Sounds like you might fish more this year than the last two Always welcome on Wishin when it's mended Nige

A great day this time of year

Thanks for the offer Brian but they left all 3 vhf radios,they are in the know?as mine have mmsi numbers entered and the charger for the handheld was at home

Thanks for all the good wishes and offers of help..........thanks They were seen on CCTV but I don't think they will ID them in the snow and hoodies. They drilled out the patio door lock which took one of them half an hour then number 2 came back and they went though everything.Gone from what I saw today....lowrance 10hds combo but just cut the four leads 5hds,jrc large electronics scales,numerous amounts of tackle/ rigs,lures ,all my sakuma hooks and several reels but left the rods???rods new for pair

Got a call this morning that my boat has been. broken into,they drilled out the patio door lock and all has gone well the good stuff,waiting for police so when I have a list I will update,not been a good year for me so far but that's life and I know a few have been though this Nige

Might be worth going down on a bank holiday and just spectate

Oh can't wait now to play with mine now,but will all be fishing

New boat?Tell me more secret squirrel Nige

I liked southern Ireland rule two bass per person.

Neal Crickey didn't know they made extra load ones

Have a good one Paul Nige

You gave it a go,............you're boat doesn't like going past Dolphin

Nice one Neal,thanks Nige

Have a good day,perhaps some shooting lessons from Abbie ?Rather than a another gun that misses Nige

All the best have a special birthday bottle or two Nige

All the best to you both,Brian if I'd known earlier I would of sung happy birthday to you,happy birthday to you Nige