Maverick Martin

Andy just phoned me and we both agree it should be fishable in the west north/west forecast 3/4 increasing 5 later. There will be a heavy swell left from today's blow so will be a bit bouncy but with the wind forecast W/NW we should find shelter on the usual inshore cod marks Martin

Happy birthday Paul Martin

Definitely going now (not early) will call up any PBSBAC boats Martin

I might poke my nose out, if I do will listen on ch6 Martin

Good luck with the project Graham Martin

Keep up at the back, Andys been gone about three weeks now Martin

Yes we know Tom but they seem to have it covered, but only time will tell Martin

Put your other glasses on Martin

Only two choices at that money Sean Rockley boat Park but on Dry Stack (pontoons usually oversubscribed) 01202 665001, Loads of us in this club keep our boats there so on enquiring please mention me or our club Ta! The only other option for below that money would probably be Davis's boatyard Hamworthy usually has a waiting list http://www.davisboatyard.co.uk/ Martin

More info HERE Sorry Mike AWOL is all crewed up Martin

On behalf of Poole Bay Small Boat Angling Club committee Tony and I would like to wish all club and forum members a Very Happy Christmas and a Prosperous New Year MERRY CHRISTMAS Tony & Martin

Don't fart in Harrods. A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little 'woopsie', and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today? Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to s**t yourself when I tell you the price!"

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day. Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. 'You have no arms !' 'No matter,' said the man. 'Observe !' And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, as he rushed forward to strike the bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed down two hundred and ninety five church steps, when he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moment before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, 'Bishop, who was this man ?'. 'I don't know his name,' the bishop sadly replied, ( scroll down ) ' ................ BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL' WAIT ! WAIT ! There's more The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, 'Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.' The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. 'What has happened ? Who is this man ?' the first monk asked breathlessly. 'I don't know his name,' sighed the distraught bishop, 'but..' (. . . Wait for it ...) > (.. . . It's worth it.. ..) > > > > > 'HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS BROTHER.'

TWO PRAWNS Far away in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea , two prawns were swimming around. One called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin began to realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal. 'Where's Christian?' he asked. 'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.' Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.' Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'......... (You're going to love this................................) . . . . . . . . 'I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian'

Greg so you won't be bringing Mrs Sea to Poole prior to the clubs excursion to the channel isles either then I would think that your assumption would be a fair one to go with however I will leave that decision to others that know better than me. Martin

A married couple had been out shopping in the town centre for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared". The somewhat irate spouse called her mate's cell phone and demanded: "Where the hell are you?" Husband: "Darling, you remember that Jewellery shop where you saw that diamond necklace you totally fell in love with but I didn't have money at the time and said, 'Baby, it'll be yours one day'?" Wife, with a smile, blushing: "Yes I remember that, my love." Husband: "Well, I'm in the Pub next to that shop."

That photo brings back good memories Tom Good luck with the sale Martin

Remember what

Remember what

Your welcome Jim and as PD is the other crew member you will be with an old pro for sure

1 space gone but can take 1 more, let me know if interested Martin

When you do please mention the club Kev Martin

Deans working on the day of the comp so 1 or 2 Crew needed on AWOL PM Email or phone call for a space Martin

I reckon you're right PJ he'd of been well impressed with a fish like that Well done Kev on a superb fish and well done to everyone else that supported Bob's comp Martin

WOW that's not like you Tony! Martin