Coddy

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet; which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, & then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (P) and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers (E). P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. E: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. E: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: IFF inoperative. E: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. E: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. E: Evidence removed. P: Something loose in cockpit. E: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. E: Live bugs on back-order. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. E: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Number 3 engine missing. E: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Mouse in cockpit. E: Cat installed. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. E: That's what they're for. P: Aircraft handles funny. E: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. E: Took hammer away from midget. P: Suspected crack in windshield. E: Suspect you're right. P: Target radar hums. E: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. You can tell I havn't been fishing Coddy

Hi all I have just upgraded to a flat screen for the PC and my 17" CRT is up for grabs if anyone wants it. Coddy

Sounds like you had a good day Wished I was out as I took off one of the safety rails due to a broken stud which allowed the rail to move around. Maybe next week or the week after or after that Coddy

THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my boobs are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your boobs to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my boobs. How long will this take?" I asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my boobs every day will make my boobs larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says: "Worked for your arse, didn't it?" He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. Coddy

Happy birthday matey May all you wish for come true except the largest Cod, thats mine! Coddy

Hi Adam Saw this advertised too but in my case only a dream at the moment Apart from wet mooring her you would need a decent tow car to pull all that weight which all adds up to more money. Can you store her or the trailer at home? If not more costs involved. I can't recall what electronics, if any, came with it as this all adds to the final cost. Must admit a nice boat however even with a single 100hp engine. Just had a thought there is all the holes to fill if removing both engines and re-fitting a replacement in the middle. Coddy

If the weather is anything like it is here in Canada forget it. Strong winds with even stronger gusts and rain, rain and for a change more rain! I am getting so desperate for some fresh sea air its untrue Home for the week-end at last but will I get out? Don't think so Coddy

Hi Martin I will take x4 5lb boxes Coddy

The only thing they forgot to tell me is that I have to clean out the outside toilet at 38,000ft! See you all soon Coddy

Hi Bob yes, just moved to Ottawa for one day Back to Toronto until Thursday, catching the overnight flight to the UK arriving Friday early AM Good news is I just been upgraded to First Class flying back! Coddy

If you think boat prices are on the rise, check out his advert http://www.boatsandoutboards.co.uk/view/F81147/ Coddy

Well done, had me going as well! I too am sitting here in my hotel room with the wind howling around the patio window which is shaking enough to shatter. Wishing I could get home .............. all flights to the UK are fully booked until Thursday!!!! Just hope Sammy is safe and well and not been damaged in all the weather you have been having. If it is anything like over here, next week-end will be blown off! Oh well back to dreaming Coddy

40 Things You May Not Know 1. Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of cotton. 2. The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle represents the varieties of pickle the company once had. 3. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks - otherwise it will digest itself (eeww). 4. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper. 5. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a "tittle". 6. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. 7. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller. 8. A duck's quack doesn't echo ... no one knows why. 9. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals. 10. Every person has a unique tongue print (no licking at the scene of a crime!). 11. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled. 12. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was albino. 13. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. 14. During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a small red car can be seen in the distance. 15. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister. 16. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog. 17. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode. 18. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww). 19. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants! 20. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine. 21. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters. 22. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time ( ... and multi-tasking was invented). 23. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood. 24. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos. 25. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan, there was never a recorded Wendy before! 26. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver! 27. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips. 28. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death. 29. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk mask painted white. 30. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar ( ... good to know . ). 31. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless). 32. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb (sign of a true civilized society ... not). 33. American Airlines saved $40,000 in '87 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class. 34. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola. 35. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples! (guess what I'm buying on my next trip to the grocery store!) 36. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying! 37. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher. 38. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries. 39. Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator game. 40. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages them (families taking long car rides should adopt this same policy). Coddy

Hi Guys I have to eat humble pie I have just re-read the wording on the packet of the nets Fits Bow size 30 x 32 Depth 48" I stand suitably chastised I am going back to see if I can find anything bigger Coddy

I am very sorry Duncan I should have read the thread from the begining I will try to see if I can bring back some more and save one for you in the process Coddy

Well done matey You did yourself and the club proud I can see you making the England Boat Team at this rate Great result even if you did not win the first place. Coddy

Done Both nets now gone If I find anymore I will obtain them I also have the supplier so may pass on to others or tackle shops if interested. Coddy

Whatever the result it was excellant news that James managed to come 3rd. Well done matey What an asset for the club to have a podium finish 2yrs in a row. We just need a night when he explains on "how to do well and catch fish". I for one and I expect Jack as well, would come along to listen Great result Coddy

Hi all I have managed to purchase x2 48" replacement landing nets They were the last two in the store so if anyone wants one let me know. Cost each

Hi all Just a reminder that the clocks go back an hour at 2am Sunday morning Coddy

Hi Charlie We too have WiFi in our house. We have the BT version which has encryption codes to stop others using our network. Downside is that my daughter has a Sky + box with a wireless remote so we can watch downstairs what she has recorded on the SKy+ box. We have to turn off the router (broadband WiFi box) to stopp interferance on the tv, they seem to use a similar frequancy Hope thats not too complex an answer, pop round sometime and I can demonstrate to you. Coddy

Bob Why not renew on line, it is so easy. Takes a couple of weeks for the renewal card to come through but otherwise I have had no problems. Coddy

Hi Chris I have an old set, down side is that one segment on the number display is not working but otherwise it works ok. You are more than welcome Coddy

I have one of the new Fladen one piece suits and the fladen thermal one piece under garment (cant think what they call it) Not used it in very cold weather yet. Like Adam I get cold easily but when I have tried it found it warm and not sweaty at all. There are some good prices to be had at the moment if you look around. In fact I think someone in the club or forum use to sell Fladen suits at a good price. Coddy

Thats why you are not getting any fish! Coddy