Newboy

Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year...have a laugh and read on. Complaint Letter of the Year. The British do have a way with words.... A real-life customer complaint letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept....) Dear Cretins, I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidityof monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office: My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat a*se waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website....HOW? I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to avariety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme. Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don'tcare, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue. I thought BT were ****, that they had attained the holy ****-pot of god- awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of *******s you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - w*nkers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed todeliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees. Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of ****s. John

What about the wire trace we use for tope and conger, they don't rust out, do they?!

Hope there are a lot more of these. I'm out with a party from the Solent Forum with Rob Thompson tomorrow, got my portland rig and large float for a bit of floating for bass.

It seems I've been decevied.... I still reckon it looks good when dawn raider launches into the sky tho...

To be honest, I have been impressed after seeing James' Raider 16 handling of the rough sea, none of our (bigger) boats could keep up with him, he just seemed to fly over the waves and swells so effortlessly. I will definitely get a ride on one to see whether it suits you or not. The price is reasonable at around

Warrior, explorer, samuri,.... same shoe as Jenneave, arvor, etc. They were based on the same hull, with slight variations, if you do a search on warrior explorer you will find a thread a couple of weeks ago discussing the differences between these boats. I thought the Raider is reasonable, the Arvor and the Jenneave would be the expensive choice. Been on a big Arvor (25 I think) it spacious and ride really well, a little slow with the inboard. It's very well put together. Can't comment on Quicksilver as I've not set foot in one, however, Mark (Loyal Royal) did have a 640. Getting someone else to ride a boat for you can be difficult as it's a matter of opinions. What I considered to be acceptable, you might think it's unacceptable, what you considered to be a good ride, I can turn round and say that was the worst ride I ever had..... However, I don't mind popping into Portsmouth for you since I pop into Portsmouth from time to time (someone mentioned a free ride? ), as long as you let me know what exactly you are looking for. Whether the boat will be fished only in good weather or something a little more challenging. I think there are other members living in Portsmouth too, if they can do it the better.

Warrior for fishing and a pilot house for taking the family out. If you want both, get a raider 18.

On the Ripps trip Gordon noticed one of the screw holding the wind screw had popped out, I said I will get a new screw. Of course like most things in my life, I'd completely forgotten about it until today. The missing screw had worked the next screw loose as well and when I was going flat out today trying to see what the top speed is for the new engine, the slamming and flexing eventually crack the perspex. Now, where can I get a new windscrean? I suppose I can get a new perspex one made up by most plastic companies, but I would also like a windscrean wiper and I can't do that with perspex, so what can I use? I can't use glass as there's a small amount of flexing (as long as all the screws are done up ) so something I can use a wiper on and flex a little. Any ideas?

3 trips, 2 different skippers, I'm still plaiceless, turbotless and breamless in Weymouth. They keep telling me 100's 4/5 lb bream caught the day before.....

GPS shows your coordinates and your tracks, but no land or sea or coastal features. A plotter is similar to a gps except it has a map/chart over it, so you know where you are in relations to say Lymington. If you haven't got a fishfinder, you can get a combine unit with gps, works out cheaper but the trade off is you get less detail/info if you want both working at the same time.

Adam: yes it's cheaper to buy a 2 years boat well kitted out, but if everyone is buying a 2 years old boat, 2 years down the line, there will be no 2 year old well kitted out boat for sale. Same as a new car, some people will pay the extra and have the new car 'smell'..... Geoff: Martin is dead right, the hulls are similar, all it mean is on a calm landlocked lake the handling is very much a like if you are going dead straight ahead. If you look more carefully, the cabins on the boats mentioned, are different sizes, I have a long cabin where I can sleep 2 without having to bend my knees (I'm 5'7"), the pilot house doesn't stop till more than 1/2 way, i.e., more weigh. Some boat have smaller cabins therefore less weigh. The differences in weigh determine how it handles how well it turns etc etc. I would think the 75 is plenty, in fact I think it might be too big, I'll check with MG boats and see what their max rating is. Most boat this size has a max rating of around 70.

There are a few boats which are very similar in design. In facts, the hulls are the same. Merrry Fisher, Quicksilver, Selva and the new Greek Sunday fisher, etc. Personally I like my boat (that goes without saying) however, it is not without drawbacks. First it is NOT a fishing boat, I would call it a family leisure craft. Since it has a pilot house, it centre of gravity is that much higher. In very bad weather/windy conditions, it can roll from side to side more than say a Warrior, similar beam but centre of gravity much lower. It is capable of long comfortable journeys. Specially if you have young family, like I have. The pilot house is very good in keep its passenger very dry, since mine has zip up curtains. Personally I wouldn't go out in it in anything 5 or 5+. Also it catches cross wind (too) nicely when trailering, you must have a vehicle heavy enough to steady it. Another problem I have encountered with this type of pilot house, since there's more weigh on the front, to make it ride better, you will either need trim tabs or more weigh at the stern to balance it out. When Sweet Honey was using the Mercury 100, which is something like 180kg, it handles well, but since I changed it to a Tohatsu 90 (134kg), it can be more difficult to handle if fuel is also low (even less weigh at the stern, I used to carry 16 gallons + to now 12g)). Certain swells and inbalanced load up caught me out a couple of time. I would get a ride on it to see you you like it before you hand over your hard earned cash. The price is very attractive, 7 1/2k + outboard, say, 3 1/2k and a trailer 1 1/2 k. The Sunday fisher is also very very similar, they did a review on Boat Fishing Monthly a few months back, the review is quite positive.

Supposed to go sharking today, unfortunately Colin the skipper of Flamer 3 ordered some shark traces from Weymouth angling centre a week in advance and they still didn't get it for the day. So only 2 shark traces we decided it wasn't going to work with 6 on board. Instead we fished the various wrecks south of Portland bill and landed lings largest being a 25 lbs and congers upto 35lbs. On way back we tried the mussel bed for breams, had 3 small ones in 4 drifts. Good day even tho we didn't get to go sharking.

Shetland makes good boats. A 17 footer is easily manageable, launch and retrieve singlehandedly. Might try to pop out sometime next week for the bass. Never done it but will give it a go. you are welcome to tack along if you are free.

Bad luck Dan. Look at the bright side, welcome to the joy and heartache of being a boat owner. A customer who owned a strings of boats once told me, the happiest time of owning a boat are 1) the day you buy her 2) the day you sell her......

How heavy is your rig? You should be able to get away with a small 4x4, like a Sportage or sporttrak.

Good idea about the front towbar, if anyone here wants to make one, make sure it's off set to the driver side, reason being you don't need the towbar to be at the middle and with it being at the corner you can line it up much easier. I wouldn't recommend using the kangoo on the sand even with the front tow bar.

The range rover wouldn't have any prblems with the sands, especially the sand should be hard packed. Just use the low ratio on the slippery stuffs if the main 4x4 struggles. Don't forget to add

It's been off line for the last 2 days.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion: 1) The woman buys the food. 2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert. 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill -- beer in hand. Here comes the important part ... 4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. 5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. 6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. Important again .. 7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. 8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. 9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most of all .... 10) Everyone PRAISES the man and THANKS him for his cooking efforts. 11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!

I'm on holiday 10th -24th. How much longer the bass be around for?

Where about is the mark? Is it just the Needle bridge? How far from the lighthouse is regarded safe? I am taking Sweet Honey out tomorrow, cos I want to test the new tranducer, making sure it works ok.

I might go from Lymington if weather is good and I can get crew. But it will be early start and mid afternoon finish as I'm off sharking the next day.

I have wished to be many things in my life, but never had I the urge to be a can of beer so much .......

Is he going round chopping fish balls off?