Jim

I'm telling my Mum ! - - - - You're all picking on me !

That was another of my mates. She was in her 70's. He was eventually helped onto the ferry. They were sailing an X class dinghy. The ferry blocked their wind and left them helpless. Never drift towards the ferry. Always away from it. Jim

O.K. Silly season's here again. My turn now ! Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra . The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, We were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.' 'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?' 'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc. 'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?' 'Down the other side of the lake near the parking lot by the Parliament House.' 'Same here. Hmm.....How do you catch them?' 'Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!' 'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an arsehole and a briefcase.

Or get someone to copy them onto a USB memory stick.

I'll be following this one ! Steel bits in salty stuff - - - - not good. Jim

My ex-boss, an experienced Yachtie was on the telly after having the ferry chains nearly tear the rudder off his yacht. The RNLI had to go and rescue them and it was all caught on film.

I should have taken the time to fit those when I changed the brake shoes. I dread to think what state my brakes are in now. They have only been in there about 12 months and in the sea 3 - 4 times. Salt's good on Chips but not on Brakes. Jim

There is the risk that someone could cause a problem in front of the ferry, which then makes the ferry stop or slow down. This can cause the chains behind the ferry to be pulled tighter and come nearer the surface. If in any doubt, stay a good distance away from it. Jim

Happy Birthday Duncan. Dave. & My Mum. Jim

I won't be buying one for 2 reasons. 1 - no dosh. 2 - I'll wait until they can do a better job than that. Jim

I've been wondering where you got to Adam. Sorry, I can't help. But good to know you're still about. Jim

That's what I like about jokes Dave. Leave them long enough and you can use them again cos everyone's forgotten. Worked on ME ! Jim

Ah E-Tec !

I wondered where that was going I'll have to come and have a look. I expected Rob to quote me on that one. ! ( The little Tinker ) You're welcome to take a look Brian. Phone Me. I lost your number when I changed phones. I'll PM mine in case you've done the same. Jim

Well you've certainly given us all something to talk about while the weather's crap Gary ! Brian, Did I show you mine ? Hinges down and back up again in seconds. Jim

Gary, Duncan Forrester ( BathClaret ) Has a 175 Send him an email or PM. He's been a bit quiet lately so maybe email would be better. Tubes can be produced as and when required. ( Brian needs some ) His bridge looks positively Bare ! Jim

You were serious about upgrading then Gary ? Same size Bridge, so keep hold of the Baguette Holders. There'll be a 165 available soon then ? Good luck with the hunt. Jim

Quote Rob: " More of a gob stopper Jim!!! " It'll need to be a big one if it's for me Rob. Well Done on your Win ! Jim

Yeah but the other bloke's had'nt been eating lead sandwiches !

If you get one Rob, Scan it and post it on here so we can all have a " Butchers " Jim

Adam didn't you used to be admin? or have I completely lost the plot?....don't answer that Jim Martin Used to be - in the early days (remember Phanton Fisher!) Havent got access any longer. Just Sooo Tempting Old Fella ! Jim

Happy Birthday Paul, I hope you're out today. It looks a real Cracker. I'm not going anywhere. - - - Man Flu ! See ya. Jim

Put Myself and My Son Steve down for it, so long as the price is good. Jim

Mike, Tony Mullen Bluewater Horizons Stored in my memory bank! I'll NEVER deal with that bloke! Looking on the brighter side. - - - - You could write a 1/2 hour comedy sketch for Television to try and get some money back. Makes me MAD ! Jim

Happy Birthday Tom. Only 12 more months until you get your Strip - a - Gram. Jim