Stuie

Well who's fishing the plaice comp? Small boat big boat kayaks! Book in here: 1) Martin & Dean on "AWOL" 2) Brian (cabin boy) and Stuart on Sea Dream

Cheers Dave, hope the engine problem doesn't keep you ashore for too long - the bream must be just around the corner..

Trying the sands near the swash again, and likely on the patch at some stage.

Also planning to take Sea Dream out again tomorrow, and if I manage not to forget anything, will set out shortly after 8am. We'll be scanning Ch 6.

Inside information Neal, sounds like someone in the know?? Bloody awful, but put your thinking cap on...

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.. So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?' The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.' 'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked. 'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man. 'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan. 'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone. 'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan. 'Yep,' was the calm reply. 'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan. ' Nope,' said the old man More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?' The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years".

Funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 FM in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below. ~Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh.t for two days because my ass was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!

Nice one Graham, I just can't understand why my wife wasn't amused

Try this site Dave, I use dust on my old machine. http://www.hotsmoked.co.uk/ - it also gives you some idea about what wood to use for whatever you are smoking.

I've had great fun with a small Penn baitcaster loaded with 10lb braid and have you considered one of the modern baitrunner fixed spool reels? For that money you'd buy a good piece of kit.

Graham, I may well attend the Lifeboat College at 2pm on Thursday 17th. The events are listed as information days - I expect this means there will be static displays, pictures etc and hopefully someone to ask questions of - unlike a public meeting. Anyone else free?

Years ago I bought a Brook's home smoker - and it's still going strong. I've had great success with small whole fish (including mackerel) as well as fillets - never had a failure - yet It came with instructions and a recipe booklet, although I just smoke as I wish, without going into any of the detailed recipes etc, although the smoking guidelines are very useful. In my experience rainbow trout can be of variable flavour but when smoked it's something else - I can really recommend it.

Had a great day (Tuesday 8th) aboard True Blue out of Poole with Steve Porter. It was only because my crew Brian was unavailable that I was able to book the short notice trip to mid channel wrecks - 2hrs 20 mins steaming... Seven prime specimens upto double figures committed hari kari on a good old orange jelly worm - who needs fancy expensive lead heads Spent two hours yesterday filleting and skinning - there was plenty for family and friends too. Plenty of brownie points with the FPO as its her favourite fish... Seriously though my wife is excellent at removing pin bones. Smoked trout is on the menu here too as three large specimens from Dever Springs surrendered to a gold head damsel last Friday. I use a small hot smoker and the resulting flavour of the trout is fantastic.

Local Echo article has plan http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/8861...hore_wind_farm/

Public Meeting to discuss Coastguard Station closure The MCA is holding a public meeting in Weymouth on 8 March - see link below. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-12440075

Anyone know of a submarine I could hire in Christchurch to shadow Alun, I'm still blanking in blinking Poole!!!

Martin, Surely in this high tech age it's possible for our system to be progrtammed to reject postings that are wider than the size required for us not to have to pan. The current system means that anyone posting comments after a wide posting can easily find that their comments similarly are too wide to display without panning. I'd like to think that a simple program command would rectify the problem. Stuart

I also use the same site as Rob - there's a lot of info about each vessel and it's easy to identify the French fishing vessels as the display shows their speed etc.. Photographs of the vessels are also a clue.

I attended with Derek, Brian and his crew, who lives very adjacent to the hall. He acted as our torch bearer and prevented us stumbling. Being new on the local scene I didn't recognise anyone else at all, but checking out the post-it comments it was obvious that commercial skippers had been making their comments known. We filled in a form commenting about the proposed Studland Bay anchoring ban, and suggested that permanent mooring buoys would be a good compromise. Also left a post-it asking for steps to be taken to allow the inshore marine environment to return to the condition it was in 50 years ago.. I think all we can do is turn up and make noises - but who's going to do the enforcing of any regulations?

Petesnr, I'm picking Brian up from Upton shortly after 5pm.. if you can make it there you're welcome to a lift. Regards

Best wishes Brian, hope you have a great day.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive...les_622180a.swf

I'd also like to attend the Owermoigne meeting - perhaps we could travel together. I'm down in Poole.

Rob, I thought damp squibs only came out on 5th November - mind you I've been out several times already and it's still January.. Stuart

Floundering for flounders again. Afloat of at 9am, planning not to go too far as still without the back-up engine. (A nylon bush in the gear selector linkage had jammed solid and the replacement has been redesigned to allow easier lubrication - steady Jim...) Anchored not too far from Charlie's base for a couple of hours, not a fish, tried elsewhere before finishing at 3pm - still fishless. Motored in from the Wych trying not to look, but following a track on a hand held Garmin that has excellent definition - Brian kept a watch. Must practice this again. Another enjoyable day afloat and the Johnson 4 stroke didn't miss a beat. Just have to find some fish. Hopefully will have the auxiliary back soon as the long range forcast looks good for next week - may venture outside. Lessons from the day 1) Don't have a curry the night before 2) Tell the crew when you're about to make a sudden change in speed Stuart