crazy fred

Well another day at the office cod fishing somewhere off the island.We arrive cobbs at 6-30 late start for us bridge hopefully at 7-00 or 7-30 if golden girl goes to work on time.Its -4 again bloody cold with a NE 2-3 breezing in, but we were ready for this cold snap we had put the heaters on the night before. As we walk down the pontoon she looks like the biggest bowl of ready break you have ever seen no ice just glowing with warmth while every where else looks like the antarctic. With no hitch ups were fishing by 8-30 on the ebb tide. The wind which is armed with swords that cut right through you comming over the roof top. Its pleasant and hot foods on the way followed by piping hot coffee. We now we have piping hot water from the deck shower to put the fozen squid in,so we dont have to beat the crap out of the picture of the tax man on the capstan any more to break it up, god i miss that bit. Fishing is like the tide non existant, the wind is playing havock with the boat,we were swinging around like a woman trying to decide whether to buy tesco finest or tesco value she just can make her bloody mind up and nor can the boat.Slack water arrives and weve only had a few bits and pieces so we make the decision to move when the flood gets going enough to pull us round against the wind. Were off to a mark 2 miles away and stick the hook in first go spot on. Within ten mins the first conger comes in and its looking good.Baits getting short so out with another frozen block of squid and into the bucket and lets have some of that hot water ,bloody hell! it came out like a high pressure steam line 2mins later and weve got blanched squid?.It seemed to make no difference we had plenty of congers 1 skate, dogs and pout made up for a slow start to the day, 5-15 time to set off and get the 6-30 bridge . Steaming accros the fairway pitch black and with a bit of spray i think i see a council vehicle go by with an orange flashing light on top, strange things happen at night?.When i look back there are two of the buggers just bobbing around 2-300yds apart somone hasn't paid there poll tax, curiosity didn't get the better of us just in case they were strung together but what were those mystery lights in the middle of nowhere.We have made good time were back by 6-20 to be told that bridge is broke and wont lift till 7-00 pm. Im sure that little man who sits in the civic centre operating the bridge has eyes so close together that the number eleven looks like the number one to him , he has got it in for me. So to sum up the day some good sport and humour with only one Guiness in the clubhouse and home , god were good to our wives staying out of there way all day!

amazing what people throw in the gutter these day's

they seem to have put bigger engines in them they go quicker across the screen good old seagull engines

i told you a 45 lb bruce was to big

raymarine 10inch color daylight view chart plotter as new and with c-map card only

were not saying there dim they just aint put no money in the electric

5kg bruce on ebay

but as long as you can read that same non message every year you should be more than happy

First of all you steam out for 5 miles to find a shoal of your favourite bait fish .Gently you let out a trace of your best mackerel lures then proceed to load the live well tank up to the brim with the striped beauties by ripping them out of there habbitat with a huge up and down jerking motion by there heads and seperating their vertebres from one end of their body to the other.happy with this, you put them in recovery for 20-30 mins . You then reach your secret fishing mark and drag one of those fully recovered striped beauties out of its slumber and stick a 6/0 hook through its nose ,so now its got a bloody nose and a headache to die for.then lowered to the sea bed and scared shitless for a couple of drifts by fish giving it the evil eye.By now it's thinking the pair trawlers looked a good bet for a peacefull end to its life,But no you wind it up at warp speed ready for another drift hung in mid air gasping for water till the next drift. Next drift and its his last chance before certain death by an angler who recons its his fault why he's not catching.Perhaps his stripes are to far apart or his eyes are to close together, whatever he'll end up in the bin forgotten to become ground bait or rubby dubby.So this drift he put's a big effort in, and preditory fish are going to get the fin or in our world the finger as he passes by, enough to upset any one.Well its worked bertie bass has lurched at the bait and the bait legs it behind a rock the simple angler thinks it's a bite and yanks him out of his safe haven , then wallop bertie bass yomps him in one go and the anglers got bertie so the only one who ends up happy is the angler, who either puts the bass back which would also would make the bass happy or option 2 gets turn't into lunch or diesel tokens ?

bloody fair weather fisherman get every where you need more tide!

well all this talk of proxy or poxy cookies has made me hungry and what's this auto start thing somthing you put on the kettle so you get your coffee quicker!!

who needs mates like that??

god should have read my signature first

dont try this at home?

ive got some 18mm 8 strand braided rope you can have for trace to use with those 16/0 meat hooks

if you need parking i can accomadate about 10 mins from cobbs

just let me know when you want to get started its not rocket science

if you need lessons in fly fishing let me know i can help you out but im off to cuba in 3 weeks saltwater fly fishing and to get some sunshine

We arrive yet again, at the take your brain out time of the day of 5-30am, the next bridge is not open untill 9-30. The boat looks like a polar bears playground all covered in lovely freezing cold ice crystals with the ropes welded to the cleats with ice its only -4. We clear the entrance to find out there is a nice s-se 4-5 occ 6 breeze! , tommy seems to think bed is a far better idea!.We carry on regardless 14 knts only 16 miles to go so we will catch the last 2hrs of the flood gonna be bloody cold,shut the door heaters on and we will worry about the cold when we get there. 7-30 and were there not another boat in sight sensible buggers, the sea looks like a cup of "cappuccino" all white and frothy!not looking forward to this .So we do the normal bit acting like a mad duck to make sure of the mark but" hey" its windy like a night after a vidaloo, so near enough is good enough for today.We get tackled up to find out the squid is still in ice cube form . so the only thing to do is smash it against the top of the capstain about 6 times and break some off,must put a picture of the man from the inland revenue on it , get some pay back therapy!. Perhaps squid ice lollys will do the trick for the cod!. So summing up the day plenty of howlers ie dogs ,pout ,whiting ,and some fine congers ,biggest landed 35 but we got chomped on 5 others ,and they felt far bigger ,but you'll have to take our word for them,they got the last laugh. So an action filled day, felt like being in a cement mixer most of the time, but some people pay for that much exercise.We set off for home at 3-10 and the weather had dropped a tad but not good for the next few day,s , so annother trip without the elusive cod putting in an appearance, so will tommy get one this season we will have to wait for the next eppisode Fred+tommy ps straight home no Guiness

so why waste petrol going fishing, just sit on the mooring : and tuck into the bait???

Sat morning weather ok, slight chill with n/e breeze, decide to go for a mark in freshwater.Through the bridge at 7-30 and tie up on the quay, to get the bait ready for the off. Were just about to let the lines go for the off and diesel dave calls us up on the squawk box informing us he's left the dock and headed for the same mark.I look at alex with a slight smile ,and i say " i recon we can go and have breaky in the cafe , and still beat him there", Alex say's game on. So full monty and two mugs of coffee, and a quick glimpse at page three, just too remind us what a pair of "biggins" look like ,anglers mail lads "steady" and were off. So a gentle cruise out of the habour with the tide up our exhaust and its 28knt's were flying, till we get to the ferry then crash bang wallop wind against tide don't want to spill the coffee so back off the thottle a bit, then start looking for dave up ahead,but no sign. By the fairway buoy we have reeled him in, he knows his early start has not worked , so we recon speed matters.We reach the waypoint numbers, then a few minutes looking like a demented duck going round in circles with avian flu , we stick the hook in for the last of the ebb. Very comfortable with the wind over our heads but we know the flood is comming and it will be in our face , and thats going to be cool to say the least, To sum the day up very pleasant with conger pout and dogs with some sunshine thrown in along the way,3-30 we pull the hook out and head for the bridge, nice steam home with the wind behind us.We reach cobbs 4-45pm quick wash down then in the club to help out with mr guiness's share prices, which leapt for two hour's untill we left, so we sign off untill the next episode, so you all have fun, Fred and Alex.

they must be to hard for you fisherman winter wonderland = siberean operates with part of this inserted =surgeon with part of this inserted=t s"t"urgeon answer siberian sturgeon

try this one the end of this olympic runner,with a part of this sailor's name, followed by tin with abriviated poet

nope nor any other haddock not even remotely close

two turtles go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer.After three day's of walking,they arive at a great spot but relize theve forgotten the bottle opener.the first turtle turns to the second and say's,"youv'e gotta go back and get the bottle opener otherwise we can't have beer. "no way" say's the second "by the time i get back you will have eaten all the food." "i promise i wont" say's the turtle "just hurry" Nine full day's later there is still no sign of the second turtle.Exasperated and starving,the first turtle tucks into the sandwiches. Suddenly the second turtle pops up from behind a rock and yell's " I knew it "im not f-----g going".