A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After
a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that
new club, fancy tagging along?" The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a
softie, I always end up getting my head kicked in." So Smartie says,
"Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case I'll look after you."
Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long
as you'll look after me", and off they go. After a few more beers in
the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides
under the table. The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start
kicking him, breaking bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him
with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while
they get bored and walk out. Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby
body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to
Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me." "I was!"
says Smartie
(scroll down, you won't be disappointed!)
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"But those Lockets are menthol"