Hello, my name is Lewis and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50
billion f*cking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with
breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have
it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak
show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and
everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?
How stupid are we?
"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish,
I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"
What a bunch of bullsh*t.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house
and Sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was
started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
F*ck 'em.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
Mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest
friends, And this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive
a Nickel from some omniscient being, forwards about 90 times.
I don't f*cking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's
our own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening
to leave you sh*gless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete
it. If it's funny, send it on.
Don't p*ss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead
elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter
he'll receive if You forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know.
Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous
and Will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.
PS. Send me