Brian

Hillary Clinton decided to send Donald Trump a letter to let him know how she felt about him. Trump opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line coded message: 370HSSV 0773H Trump was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Vanessa Trump and his children. Vanessa Trump and the children had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at FBI, CIA or NASA. They eventually asked Britain's MI6 for help. Within minutes, MI6 cabled this reply: "Tell Mr Trump that he is holding the message upside down."

Hi Stan To someone locally? A potential member?

“Poor Old Fart,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?” The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

1. Man comes into the ER and yells ‘My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. ‘Big breaths,’ I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient. Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.' Submitted by Dr. Susan Sternberg 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one? I asked. 'The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA 5 While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered, 'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.’ Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR 6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked, ’So how’s your breakfast this morning?' “It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste,” Bob replied. I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.' Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read, ' Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said ‘Sorry, I had to mow the lawn.’ Submitted by RN no name 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard. 'No doctor but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.' Dr. wouldn't submit his name. 9. A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,' she replied. 'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, ‘No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.' ‘I know,’ she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.' Dr. Anon

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

Hi Tony Welcome to the Website, I've sent you some information about the club. . Regards Brian

Russian Olympic pole-vaulter Svetlana Gevenskaia says she doesn't know what all the fuss is about.

My tackle storage locker has arrived, thanks for the info Stan.

Someone on WSF is looking for a Predator/Warrior/Explorer. I've posted links to this thread and your advert. http://www.worldseafishing.com/forums/threads/predator-165.11443642/

Worth looking at the Lowrance Elite 7 Chirp. That has downscan and can be connected to the VHF, whereas the Dragonfly doesn't have an NMEA output.

If you can't identify it and they cancel your policy, I'd suggest trying a different insurance company. There are loads of boats about that can't be identified, because they were made by small companies that have since disappeared.

Someone has suggested an early Shetland 2+2 with an aftermarket cabin.

I have, I'm just passing the time by the pool.

I was in a lift when this big breasted women got in. She said, "Please press one". So I did, I don't remember much after that.

I didn't see it until someone pointed it out to me !!!!!

Welcome to the Forum, as others have said, it's well worth joining the club. For your info. I've sent you a "Membership Enquiry Reply" and a copy of our "Constitution" by pm. The meeting is upstairs in the Trades and Labour Club. Unfortunately I won't be there this month, I'll be away on holiday. Regards Brian

I've no problem, I'm on IE.

In the reply window there's an icon along the top to the right with the W symbol, that's paste from Word.

From a retired Sq Leader who lives in Moose Jaw, Canada . Just to remind you about the dangers of hand-swinging a propeller. Anyone who has been around Reciprocating Engine Aircraft will all be able to spot the error right away. This photo is absolutely incredible! It should be a poster for what not to do. But can you tell what's wrong with it? SEE BELOW....CARELESS GIRL, Yes, I imagine you spotted it, too. Never, ever, try to prop-start an aircraft without chocking the wheels first! I expect that caught your eye right away, as it did mine

Sir Bobby Charlton was asked how the England team of 1966 would have fared against Iceland. He replied "I think we'd have beaten them 1-0". "Only 1-0" said the reporter. "Yes" said Sir Bobby, "Most of us are in our 70's now".

I see the England Team have arrived home.

I don't think anyone knows yet. !!!