Brian

I decided to go to the local mosque in Liverpool for the first time to see what it was all about. I sat down and the Imam came up to me, laid his hands on my hand and said: "By the will of Allah and the prophet Mohammed - you will walk today." I told him I wasn't paralyzed, I only had a small bunion on my left foot. He came back and laid his hands on me and looking skywards, earnestly repeated his mantra: "By the will of Allah and the prophet Mohammed - you will walk today." Once again, I told him there was nothing wrong with me. After prayers I stepped outside, and blow me down ---- My car was gone !!!!!

Someone said Fred bought it himself.!!!

Winning bid was £475

Bert, at 85 years old, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the misses. Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret at age 83, looked him over and replied, "Nope." Frustrated as hell, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?" Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow." Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?" "Nope. Not a clue", she replied. "IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES! Without missing a beat old Margaret replies, "You shoulda bought a new hat!

Not exactly !!!!!

Yep, looks as though I might get some free time in the future, although not next week, apparently I'm going to do some decorating.

Took a mate out today to try for some plaice. Out to the Swash and first drift by 10.00, bite almost immediately and plaice on, too small to keep so back it went. Jerry paused on Loobie lll so see if we had anything, then continued on for the bream. Then nothing for about an hour when I brought in one just under 2 lbs. Finished the day with 3 keepers. It was nice to be out and once the sun came through it was very hot.

Off out for a couple of hours or so tomorrow. first trip of the year.

Anyone know what's going on here? Just curious.

Happy birthday Dave. I thought beer and cake was your order every day Jim.

A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related. Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7, 8 and 9. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency. The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him. Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £7.50/min (charges may vary, ask your mobile provider) Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook". Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's the worst at snooker. Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser! Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford. If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham delete it. It's Spam. They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly. When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.

So this is a conversation between a man and a womon. Please note that she asks 5 or 6 questions which he answered quite simply and she is speechless after answering only one question. I’ll bet this happens more often than not to most husbands out there, I’m just saying. Woman: Do you drink beer ? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5.00 which includes a tip(This is where it gets scary !) Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 20 years, I suppose Woman: So a beer costs $5.00 and you have 3 beers a day, which puts your spending each month at $450.00. In one year, it would be approximately $5400.00. Correct? Man: Correct Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400.00, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000.00 correct? Man: Correct Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari? Man: Do you drink beer? Woman: No. Man: Where's your Ferrari?

You have to reduce the size, also appear to work better if square. See my "Temporary" Avatar

Are you still looking? Here's one in Farnham. Warrior 165 fitted with 11 month old Suzuki 70 hp fourstroke with trolling switch/ control, fitted by warrior boats at there factory and with the remaining warranty still on the engine. The engine also comes with a spare 4 bladed prop. Also fitted is a 2 year old mariner 6hp long shaft fourstroke auxiliary engine. The boat is sitting on a 12 month old De Graff roller coaster trailer which has the remainder of its warranty remaining, the trailer has never been into salt water ...and also comes with spare wheel, 2 speed winch and lockable tow hitch. The boat has had newly upholstered bucket seats and a new tonneau/trailing cover fitted. All new fuel tanks and system fitted with external fuel filter with water separator fitted. I fitted all new Raymarine vhf, C125 and E7d multifunctional screens with downscan and side imaging plug in modules. Also fitted new wiring and batteries. The boat also comes with a live bait barrel in the splash well with a builge pump fitted to the transome. Hand rails all around with a rear stainless rail with cutting board fitted. Price negotiable dependant on the electronics required, happy to reduce the price buy removing the multifunctional screens and modules. https://www.facebook.com/groups/warriorboats/

I've found the perfect vessel for Christchurch.

Anything to do with the removal of the 35ft limit, what are you getting?

Signed and shared on Facebook.

I counted 50 !!!!

You obviously can't have too many !!!!!!!!

They're needed to avoid procecution.

I thought the same. Strange thing to do.

This has just appeared on the Warrior Owners Group Facebook page. FOR SALE.... Warrior 165, October 2011, Suzuki 70, Rollercoaster Trailer. Comes with.... 2011 Suzuki 70hp, 110 hours ( Rev Counter Reading ) Rollercoaster Trailer ( Flush Hubs, Brakes Removed )... 2006 Mariner 4hp Four Stroke Aux engine. Lowrance HDS-5X and HDS-5M connected by ethernet cable, M-Tec ship to shore. 12v Aux socket. Fishing canopy and trailer cover. Navigation Lights. Radar arch with deck spotlight and forward lights. Twin fuel tanks. Twin batteries with change over switch, stored under seat pedestals. Reversable back seats. Anchor with Alderney Setup. Stainless boarding ladder. 3 Life Jackets. Flares, ( Now out of date ) Boat was out of the water last month for re-antifoul, full engine service and hull polish. Just add fishing rods and off you go. This is a cracking setup Boat is located in Seaham Marina, Co Durham. PM with any questions please. £12,000 ovno.

I asked on the Warrior Owners Facebook page and got this reply. This one's for sale, If you can ask him to ring me I can tell him a bit more ok 07815854955 it's Jim There are more photos here https://www.facebook.com/groups/warriorboats/permalink/10153432065356993/?comment_id=10153432086321993&notif_t=group_comment&notif_id=1462282419871295