Afishionado

Just arranged mine .....

Will a FAR better and MUCH CHEAPER one is available from most breakers yards. It's called a rubber gear stick gaiter. The ones of Fiestas and Escorts are particularly good. Both the 'proper' marine job and the automotive ones are made out of the same material. Mad Mike

I have had a major 'senior moment' I want an inshore flare pack. I made a note of the name and contact number of the gentleman member wot sells them at a very attractive price, and because it was written down promptly forgot the details. Any road up, as the boat is now ready for the sea I want the flares Can I find my note to myself? Can I remember the chaps name? Am I an old phart PLEASE who ever you are, LET ME KNOW Mad Mike

Bl00dy hell man! That's the formula How did you find out? It's a closely guarded secret know only to old pharts. Other variations are........ False teeth vibrate in your gums. = twin engines 250 RPM out of sync False teeth disintigrate in your mouth = twin engines 251RPM out of sync As you can guess engine rev sync become a matter as important as ones haemorrhoid cream to those of a certain age. Then there is wight of fish judged by the ammount of back pain experianced lifting the bleeding thing aboard. A sharp pain soon gone is about 15oz A nagging pain that remains is certainly 5lb An agonised cry of "omybloodyback" is gona be a personal best in the region of 14lb 2&3/4oz. I am sure that the older grand masters of our happy club will give more examples of stuff that one knows 'wivaht all this electronical stuff an bullocks'. Mad Mike

Y'know I just don't get this mines bigger than yours load of tosh. As the midget said "Does size matter?" What about an enjoyment scale? Like, "I caught a 50lb conger but I stayed up all night and was naquered the next day and had a row with Mrs". Vs "I went out with a fly rod and caught 10 mackies and 3 gar', had a wonderfull time and got home cooked a barbie, and still got to bed at a decent hour" So who's the 'best' fisherman? I reckon that those that worry how big theirs is may have lost site of the 'sport' element. Mad Mike

Good idea Paul, we have all had coke ups that in retrospect give others a laugh if not a lesson. Mad Mike

I used Mk 1 experience. I reckon that having been boating since I was a kid I will not be too far out. But I will be able to confirm my feelings once I learn how to use the GPS. Mad Mike

I did that once in front of my wife and son, I gave him a rollocking for messing around with the bilge pump. My wife replied in fury we're sinking you *&%$^^!

maybe hull weight? Not to mention skippers weight, I mean ol' Adam is lookin' a bit on the chubby side these days. Mad Mike PS I am suffering from anorexia Every time I look in the mirror I see a fat person looking back

60hp Tohatsu 2 stroke and it FLEW . I mean at full chat we were wave skipping and to an old fert like me it was a bit too much of an ardrenalin rush. Just over half throttle was giving us an estimated 20kts, threequarter throttle gave maybe 25kts, but full throttle was like an after burner kicked in and it hurtled. This was two up but no tackle or the usual junk on board. Also the transition from say 10 kts semi displacement speed or even 6kts displacement speed to full plane speed of say 17kts + is almost instant. There is no 'nose up' slow climb over the hump to get up on the plane; its just whoosh and your there. No nose up or anything just a flat push and your there! I have never been in a boat that does that, although I am sure that there are many that do, so it came as a shock to find oneself hurtling along at 20kts+ when (seemingly) just half a second earlier you had opened up the horses. We are out for a first fish on Saturday (west of Poole I think) and then the compulsorily families first trip on the boat Sunday. So I guess that'll be a "Can we go to Studland and have a swim" sorta trip. Mad Mike

Spaceman says....Next time, if we launch from Kimmeridge we could end up surfing back in You URGENTLY need to speak to Bob F re this aspect of recovery at Kimmeridge Mad Mike

Well 'Pride of Morpork' had her maiden voyage this afternoon. We went form Cobbs at about 14:30 and had a slow potle down through the Haven. We opened her up for a couple of tiny little squirts in the harbour and her get up and go was certainly impressive, but nothing could have prepared us for opening up the throttle when we passed the 10kt marker in the East Looe channel. WOW! she flew, infact so fast that Mark and I were quite startled. After being airborne for half the time and a bit scared to boot we throttled back to about 25kts and it ploughed along wonderfully. Then we had a gentle pootle back up the harbour, slipped and came home. Supprisingly we were asked by several other people on our trip "Is that a Warrior?" . When we said no it was a Samurai version on a warrior hull we got the most complimentary replies, so obviously it must be a pretty boat on the water. Mad Mike PS. Met a guy from Reading on the slip. He was asking about bass fishing so I told him about the club. He said he would look us up on the web and probably join. Not too sure about that though He has the most georgeous F'off 4x4 truck I've seen. Jet black, tint's and loaded. The sight of this vehicle at a club launching sesh' could well drive some of the chaps into covetous fits of deep envy which at their age could be fatal

Jack with my wealth of experience and impressive catch record I feel well equiped to collaberate on what will become the diffinitive work on 'Fishes of the C and how she is court' Mad Mike

Paul prematurly ejaculates his boat with.......... straight onto the concrete slipway courtesy of new nylon rollers. Oh if I could have been there! Mad Mike

Will they pay it? Will they comply with the rules? France gets record fine over fish France is being penalised for endangering fish stocks The European Court of Justice has fined France 20m euros (

Maiden voyage this week. All I am saying is that it'll be somewhere in Dorset at a time to avoid coarse and ribald comments from any of you lot come down to take the pee. Any road up, At the weekend Mark and I want to go a'fishing O' and I was wondering where to go to Christen our boats fishing life. Launching from Poole, where would you reccomend for a bit of fishing? What for and what with? Mad Mike

Taking a small 20 ft boat 10 to 20 miles off shore on a regular basis? One has to admire your bravery, particularly with the constricted big ship lanes off the Kent coast. It should be you giving us advice Mad Mike

Presnoallllly I am not in favour of trying to light ones way like a car on the road. It ruins night vision which infact can be very clear at sea with no shadows and the ease at which objects are silhouettedagainst the sea. IMO spot light or torch light is only needed to pick up ones mooring buoy. I have motored/sailed many miles at night and never failed to see crab pot bouys etc. My advice would be to try it without lighting and let natures adaptable Mk1 eyball do it's job. Mad Mike

I would NEVER speed up in those conditions. If the boat obtains enough downhill push from a following sea it can surf down the wave and bury its nose in the wave in front as it tries to overtake the back side of the forward wave. The result of the back end trying to go faster than the forward end is the classic broach, where the stern swings in a wide ark around the fixed point of the bow buried in the wave in front to the point that the hull is broadside to the following wave and can be turned over. One has to distinguish between real danger and an uncomortable and scary ride home. I think you did exactly the right thing. A slow plod letting the wave motion overtake the boat but keeping enough way on to move through the water and maintain steerage. In realy bad conditions a long loop of anchore warp tied to each of the stern cleats and trailed well behind the boat has an amazing steadying affect. The RNLI use this method and it is well explained in Dag Pikes book 'Power boating in rough seas' Another very important point is ......... Where you launched is not necessarily the SAFEST place to head for if it cuts up rough. the best bet might be to anchor up in sheltered haven, or a weather shore and wait for a lower wind. In the summer months there is almost always a significant drop in wind speed as the sun starts to go down and for about 40 min' after sunset. Mad Mike

I would look in Halfords, or an good motor accessory shop. Often auto parts will work at a fraction of the cost of 'marine' stuff. Mad Mike

Kam, what would you do with a bit of 18yr old totty? I mean a man gets to your age and he has to be a bit carefull Mad Mike

Please DON'T SHOUT! So what is the problem? Mad Mike

It's not all as it seems Sam........ Morgan has his proper girfriend (Becky) who practicaly lives here and is due to move in soon. Then there is Becks best friend Liv (Olivia) who comes round Friday through Sunday. So Morg' sleeps on the floor and the two girls share his big bed. However we and all his friends refer to 'his two girl friends'. Mad Mike

Odd little censor ain't it. You can't write s*** but you can write 5hit. Same thing for b******s or b0ll0cks as I say Mad Mike

I am often shocked at the early hour that some of you post messages. As I am retiered and a layabout 0630 is a time my hand hardley ever sets foot on. However as I have just been woken up by my sons two* girlfriends giggling and drunken whispering, I can't get back to sleep. So here we are at 0522 writing this just so I can be the first to post a message for once. Mad Mike * TWO girlfriends . The little bugger