plaicemat

I fished a wreck with Gordon on Enticer earlier in the year and we had congers of 35lb and 55lb which were both netted without problem in a net smaller than the one I carry. I think, on a 16

No, nothing there, or is it me? Terry.

My faith in my judgement somewhat restored by the positive comments. Terry.

No need for apologies, Tom, I'm not a sensitive flower. I still think they're a good workhorse reel for those who don't want to pay

That's put me in my place, then. Terry.

If anyone's interested, I've just seen in Trout and Salmon that Glasgow Angling Centre at October Specials have Abu 7000LD reels available at

Martin, are you saying you handed over the keys to your pride and joy (Awol, not Dean!). Are you feeling well? Or is this training the new skipper so you can just sit back and relax? Terry.

Still better than a good day in the office. I have to say I've had ballan wrasse and cuckoo wrasse but never clonking bass. You must share your secret! Terry.

You've got to admire this chap's ingenuity. This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It made the local newspaper; even Jay Leno mentioned it on his show. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's family & to especially thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was an envelope. He stressed that this was his gift to everyone, & asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8 x10 glossy of his bride having sex with his best friend, the best man. The groom had got suspicious of them weeks earlier & had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to his best man & said, "**** you!" Then he turned to his bride & said, "**** you!" Then he turned back to the dumbfounded crowd & said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing the following morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge; making the bride' s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300+ guest wedding & reception, & best of all, trashing the bride's & his best man's reputations in front of 300+ friends & family members. Do you think we might get a Master Card "PRICELESS" commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members & friends: $32,000... Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000... Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodation in Maui: $8,500... The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping his best man: Priceless... There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD! Terry.

Where on the East Coast, can you get it to the water's edge with the car and how steep-to is the entry? I've launched on the North Norfolk coast but not single handed. Terry.

Put me down too. Terry.

I've had two of these reels for the last two years, one has survived. From choice, I'd go for the Abu's. Terry.

Presumably you have as you've placed this in the Jokes section! Terry.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked, "Do you drink beer or wine?" "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either." Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!" "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, or fishing?" "No, I don't," I said. He asked, "Do you gamble, travel a lot, or have a lot of sex?" "No," I said. "I don't do any of those things." He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you give a toss?" Terry.

Mind you, I can see the RNLI adopting the inflatable lobster as a rescue craft, it would certainly stand out, especialy with twin 115hp Mercury's on the back! Terry.

Officials like that always blow things up out of proportion. Terry.

Their equivalent to the police chasing motorists instead of real policing. Gets results onto the book thus pushing up their 'targets'. Terry.

Just take your old board with you, Gordon, and they will match it. Then just cut to length, add end caps and, Robert is most definitely, your uncle. Terry.

If you have any trouble getting it, let me know. Terry.

Gordon, you can buy it cheaper from any plastics company that supply for the domestic trades, i.e. replacement windows, barge boards, cladding, etc. You may have to buy an 8ft or 10ft section but this is still cheaper than Halfords, etc. Make sure you get some end caps, these are held in place with Superglue which you should buy from the same place. You get about 200ml for the same price that those silly little dispensers cost. Terry.

Many happy returns, Jimbob; I assume you'll be out fishing somewhere on your day. Terry.

Just a cautionary note on the use of Smart Tabs. A while ago, just for the hell of it, I executed a really tight turn with plenty of power before cruising slowly up to my chosen spot for fishing. When I came to move on, I found I couldn't get the boat to come up onto the plane; in fact, it was trying to bury it's nose. After having limped back to the slipway, I removed the boat and examined everything for the cause and at that stage could find nothing wrong. I then worked out that I could get the boat up onto the plane if I trimmed the engine out but this was not ideal and in any case, there was still a lot of 'drag' which cut the speed down and, I suspect, the fuel economy. Having now checked a little more deeply, I find that one of the tabs is working fine but the other one is considerably stiffer, obviously causing a braking effect. This is the one on the inside of the tight turn which caused some internal damage to the gas actuator. Having replaced this component, all is well again. Mad Mike will be relieved, he thought it was his added weight that was causing the problem. Cancel the diet foods, Mike! Terry.

Why don't you try one of our advertisers, Jack; depending on your start time, you can collect from their houses. I find Alec very obliging and if you're too late for him in the morning, he'll leave them at the fishing shack on the harbour for you.

Could it be that the skipper of Channel Chieftain has a commercial licence, purely so he can sell any surplus catch? If this were the case, then I can see why he had been boarded and checked. Terry.

He obviously still hadn't comprehended the difference between host family and servant and master. I'm sure you were able to introduce him to his, obviously, steep learning curve. Terry.