plaicemat

That'll be why I haven't had one then! Terry.

I've been a member for about 3 years now, Bob, and I've never had a card; didn't even know there was such a thing until this thread started. If you could post mine I would really be obliged as, living in Oxfordshire, I cannot guarantee getting to meetings. I will, of course, willingly re-imburse the postage costs. Terry.

Happy birthday Mike; do you remember it's your birthday? Has your carer reminded you? Sorry I couldn't get you get an early present yesterday. I did try. Guess what we've got for supper tonight. Terry.

Actually, I've never had a membership card either. Terry.

Perhaps you can help, Paul. It just tells me I can't use those sort of files even though I've reduced them in size. What else? Terry.

Sorry, couldn't work out how to insert pictures. Probably for the best! They were amusing though. Terry.

Have you ever considered that our own HSE actually conspire to ensure that our manufacturers lose out to foreign competition? They always go too far when there is often a simpler and cheaper alternative. Terry.

I'm out on Friday but launching from Wick, I'm afraid. Another time, perhaps. Terry.

We haven't had any for a while so here's one to get your teeth into For those of you who have visited Natal, you know how typical this is! They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America. Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and so I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY... Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy sh*t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy. CHILI # 2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY... Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY... Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting p*ssed from all the beer. CHILI # 4 - BABOOS BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY... Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? CHILI # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER... Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the chili peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them CHILI # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY... Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to sh*t myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my *ss with a snow cone ice cream. CHILI # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY... Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably). Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. Ive lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, theyll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing - it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8 - NAIDOOS TOENAIL CURLING CURRY... Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry? Judge # 3 - No Report Terry.

Doesn't get in the brake drums, though! And don't mention the rain, you swine! Terry.

A useful little tip that probably everyone else knows. I just called my outboard engineer regarding a new impeller for my Mariner as the tell-tale is down to a dribble. He said that, as he had only serviced it relatively recently, it was probably down to an obstruction in the elbow en-route to the tell-tale outlet exacerbated by lack of use (bl@@dy weather). Try blowing down it with a high pressure air line. As I happen to have a compressor, I tried it immediately and, lo, a healthy stream of water again. That's saved myself about

Depending, I would have thought, on how far one lives from the slipway! I have also considered, though, introducing some Salt-X into the system through a simple reservoir which would help things no end. Terry.

O/k, thanks again, chaps, brake sprinkler system fitter and working. Hopefully the expense will be repaid by a serious reduction in brake replacement costs. For anyone else interested, I think it is an excellent system, relatively easy to fit and only spoilt by the price (

Thanks for all that, chaps, it is just what I wanted to hear. Now I can do my own brakes in future. Terry.

I had a Microplus 501 before the Warrior and it gave great service; a good little sea boat and pretty quick with the 50hp on the back. In fact, much to my wife's annoyance, it's still parked on the drive! Terry.

Thanks for that, Mike; from being unable to find an obvious 'engineered' solution, I had rather come to that conclusion. However, I really wanted it confirming by someone in the know before I commenced the usual techniques of dealing with a (sometimes) very interference fit. The plus point is that the brakes were virtually rebuilt recently so everything has been apart. By the by, how are you fixed for a day's bassing. When I've finished this job and one or two others to the boat, a tester day would be good. Terry.

O/k all you trailer experts, advice needed. I have purchased a hub flush kit in an effort to avoid the large bills I have had recently. This has to be fitted through the backplate of the hub assembly so as to enable irrigation of the brake assembly. The trailer is an Indespension Hallmark and to remove the hub assembly, one has to remove a shiny tube (bearing protector?) to get at the hub nut. Question, how is this tube removed? I can't see an obvious way so assume there is a sneeky technique known to everyone but me. I would probably put money on someone saying, 'hit it with a hammer until it comes loose'. I tried Indespension but was told if I didn't know how to do it, I should take it to a main dealer. Yeah, right, and part with vast sums of money again! Come on, be a Scout and do your good deed for the day. Terry.

Er, I think the clue's in the title, Tom. 19lb undulate ray? Still not a bad guestimate, though. Terry.

I would love to play. I am doing some work on Stingray at present and am not 100% sure she will be ready so may need a crew berth. Do we have any indication of how many Burnham have coming? Terry.

Council tax re-valuers want to charge us more if we live in a nice area. That ought to mean discounts for those who live in rough areas. We know friends who have a huge council house in their street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of fierce dogs. Her car isn't taxed or insured and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing. Her bad tempered old man is famous for upsetting foreigners with racist comments. A shopkeeper blames him for ordering the murder of his son and his son's girlfriend, but nothing has been proved yet. All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest who everyone thought was gay. Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always seen out in nightclubs. The family's odd antics are always in the papers. They are out of control. .......... Honestly - who'd live near Windsor Castle? Terry.

I hope you lot are enjoying yourselves and making the most of it. What am I doing? Laying a wood floor in the dining room. And what have I to look forward to? Skirting boards and door architraves and new doors - until Wednesday. Then it's off to Bavaria and Austria for 3 or 4 weeks where I shall be trying to tempt some of the wild trout from the mountain streams. Terry.

Congrats, Alun, I know you've been fighting hard for this for a long time. Mind, I hate to see these kids giving up so early. It'll be nice to have somebody to play with midweek though. See you after the holidays. Terry.

If I had crew, I think I'd be very tempted. Terry.

Stand back and feel the emotion........ Terry.

Then comes the actual launch....... Is that the launch manager clinging to the stern companionway? Terry