Brian

Australian joke... Five Aussie surgeons from big cities are discussing what type of person makes the best patient to operate on. The first surgeon, from Brisbane, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second, from Perth, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is co lour coded." The third surgeon, from Adelaide , says, "No, I really think librarians are the best! Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon, from Sydney chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.' But the fifth surgeon, from Melbourne , shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine... Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable.’

Rob I was boarded whilst fishing in the harbour from my previous, they were checking to make sure we weren't using sandeels as bait, as that would mean we were targeting them.

Hi Matt Bear in mind you can't target Bass in the Nursery Area during the summer months and you can't keep any bass caught anywhere. As above Sandbanks Beach on your Port side as you leave the harbour and Shell bay on the Stbd, immediately past the Sandbanks Ferry and before you reach the start of the Training Bank. In the harbour there's Hamworthy Beach (at Hamworthy Park) the beach at Lake Pier or Rockley Beach.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone swim in Holes Bay.

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune." Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police." Some years ago Adam ate the apple.

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of 75 year old scotch didn't break. Surely God meant for us to drink this vintage delicacy and celebrate our good fortune." Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opened it, drank half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police." Some years ago Adam ate the apple.

A lot of women actually turn into good drivers. So, if you're a good driver, watch out for women turning.

batteries.

Hi Charlie They're all yours. Do you want to collect or I can bring them to the committee meeting next Wednesday.

Ray comp is 16th Sept.

Happy birthday

A pair of Sony Speakers. Removable fronts. Yours for a donation to HOW.

And they call them Recreational Fishermen. The fines should have been bigger. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/recreational-anglers-charged-for-breaching-bass-regulations?utm_source=6637c7de-83d9-40f1-b0cc-da9d2895e005&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=govuk-notifications&utm_content=immediate

Lofty's in this months Saltwater Boat Angling mag.

TWO DIFFERENT DOCTORS! - FUNNY! But so true. Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint? Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week. The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then. Why the different treatment for the two patients? The FIRST is a Golden Retriever. The SECOND is a Senior Citizen. Next time take me to a vet!