Brian

Done

If Scotland gains its independence in the forthcoming referendum, the remainder of the United Kingdom will be known as the “Former United Kingdom,” or FUK. In a bid to discourage the Scots from voting “yes” in the referendum, the Government has now begun to campaign with the slogan “Vote NO, for FUK’s sake.” They feel the Scottish voters will be able to relate to this.

Happy birthday Will

Jim How come your birthday on facebook is 10th and here it's 13th? Is it just an excuse for two lots of cake?

Hi Martin I emailed you on Saturday, to say that Dave had joined.

If anyone's interested, I'll let them have John's contact details. Hi Brian, As per our conversation at the boat yard yesterday here’s the detail of the prop I have for sale. Suzuki aluminium 3 blade 11 3/8” X 14 pitch 13 splines………£40

Good excuse for lots of cake today, have a good one. :lol:

Just fitted a new radar reflector.

If it's Item 23 on here it's probably 20 amp, it is on the 3 cylinder models. http://www.boats.net/parts/search/Merc2/Mercury/75%20%284%20CYL.%29/9393856%20AND%20UP/STARTER%20MOTOR%20AND%20WIRING%20HARNESS/parts.html

Happy birthday Derek

Hi Mike I've got a Warrior 165 that you're welcome to have a look at. If time and weather permit we can go for a spin. Where are you? Regards Brian

Happy birthday Adam.

Happy birthday.

I see the club has a mention in an article about HOW, I the April issue.

This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man. I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage." I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?" "Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no. I got out of prison."

Nicola Sturgeon, Donald Trump, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin calls Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a cheque. Next Donald Trump calls the U.S. and talks for 30 minutes. When he's finished the devil informs him that the cost is 6 million dollars, so Trump writes him a cheque. Finally Nicola Sturgeon gets her turn and calls Scotland for 4 hours. When she's finished, the devil informed her that there would be no charge and feel free to call Scotland anytime. Putin and Trump go ballistic and ask the devil why Nicola Sturgeon got to call Scotland free. The devil replied, "Since Nicola Sturgeon became First Minister of Scotland, the Country has gone to Hell, so it's a local call."

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.' Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! Why have you not died ??? OH, come on... take a guess !!!..Think about it !!! Everyone knows..You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!.

WHO SAID FOOTBALLERS AREN'T INTELLIGENT? My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7." - David Beckham "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." - Mark Viduka "If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day." - Neville Southall "I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable." - Paul Gascoigne "I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." - Mark Draper "I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.” - Ugo Ehiogu "Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough." -Jonathan Woodgate "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." - Stuart Pearce "I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right." - Lee Hendrie "I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." - Ian Rush "Germany are a very difficult team to play. They had 11 internationals out there today." - Steve Lomas "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." - Barry Venison "I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet" - David Beckham "The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European" - Phil Neville "All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed." - Mitchell Thomas "One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." - Alan Shearer "I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd." - Johnny Giles "Sometimes in football you have to score goals." - Thierry Henry..

Hi Mick. Just had a look at the security system at Rockley, the cameras cover the entire pontoon.

Hotel Brochure - Translated as only they can. A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English. Getting There: ... Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests. The Hotel: This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self. The Restaurant: Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you. Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts. Bed: Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers. Above All: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

Hi Mick Popped down to Rockley today, there is a camera pointing at the pontoon, but I couldn't find out how much of the pontoon is covered. I'll ask Jill on Thursday.

As you know, I've got the same worries regarding the pontoon at Rockley. When I take MegaByte back down, probably Thursday, I'll check if their security cameras cover the pontoon. If their security cameras pick up any movement they alert the security staff.

Happy Birthday Mark