Brian

1. Serenity - Tony- Nigel - Jim 2. Lofty. Kayak 3. Geordie Bri . Kayak 4. Madness - Martin - Dean - Daniel (junior) 5. Court Jester - Neil + crew TBA 6. Marichelle - Mick, John S and James ( non member ) 7. Kingfisher - Chris W, Lester McCarthy, Steve S 8. Alfresco Charlie Sam, Jayden (junior) 9. Fisheagle. Allan G, Yann T, Dave Lynes. 10. MegaByte. Brian + Simon (Non member) 11. Reel Bizzy Kev - Jacob (junior) Dave 12. Warren Rich & Alun 13. Tom Smith @ Bob Cockayne 14. Marlin - Greg, Bradley and Carol 15. Happy Hooker-Frank Morris and two non members. 16. Geddar - Trevor + Mike Walker (non member)

1. Serenity - Tony- Nigel - Jim 2. Lofty. Kayak 3. Geordie Bri . Kayak 4. Madness - Martin - Dean - Daniel (junior) 5. Court Jester - Neil + crew TBA 6. Marichelle- Mick and James ( non member ) 7. Kingfisher - Chris W, Lester McCarthy, Steve S 8. Alfresco Charlie Sam, Jayden (junior) 9. Fisheagle. Allan G, Yann T, Dave Lynes. 10. MegaByte. Brian + Simon (Non member) 11. Reel Bizzy Kev - Jacob (junior) Dave 12. Warren Rich & Alun 13. Tom Smith @ Bob Cockayne 14. Marlin - Greg, Bradley and Carol 15. Happy Hooker-Frank Morris and two non members.

Happy birthday Neal

This is even funnier when you realise it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. Read his letter below... Hi Sharon, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realise it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!! Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. Remember Though: It Was Also A Bad Day For The Jellyfish.

Apparently it's an American/ Canadian test. General Education Department.

Involuntary Muscle Contraction' Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students. This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?' She replied, 'Probably golfing with his mates. It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.

Why Teachers DRINK The following questions were set in last year's 2014 GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds). Q. Name the four seasons. A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q. How is dew formed? A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed. Q. What are steroids? A.. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs . Q. What is artificial insemination? A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. Q. How can you delay milk turning sour? A.. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.) Q. What is the fibula? A.. A small lie. Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A.. Nearby. Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section.' A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q. What is a seizure? A.. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit.) Q. What is a terminal illness? A.. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable.) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant.)

1. Serenity - Tony- Nigel - Jim 2. Lofty. Kayak 3. Geordie Bri . Kayak 4. Madness - Martin - Dean - Daniel (junior) 5. Court Jester - Neil + crew TBA 6. Marichelle- Mick and James ( non member ) 7. Kingfisher - Chris W, Lester McCarthy, Steve S 8. Alfresco Charlie Sam, Jayden (junior) 9. Fisheagle. Allan G, Yann T+ TBA. 10. MegaByte. Brian + TBA

Done

Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life. I came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake. Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband Lance Armstrong -- I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved: winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike. Drive By -- Someone broke into my house last week. They didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. Sick bastards!!! The Agony of Aging -- On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back". Video Scam -- Just got scammed out of £25. Bought Tiger Woods' DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes". Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.

We all feel so sorry for you !!!!!!

To save reading the entire proposal. This from the Question and answers area on the Euopean Commission website. 7) What about sea bass? Sea bass is a special case: real management measures for sea bass were only put in place in January 2015 and catch limits were only put in place in June 2015. The Commission is therefore building on the measures taken in 2015 to halt the dramatic decline in this important stock. Today's proposal includes a complete fishing ban for commercial vessels and recreational anglers in the first half of 2016. For the second half of 2016, the Commission is proposing a monthly one tonne catch limit for vessels targeting sea bass, and a one fish bag limit for recreational anglers. It is also proposing to maintain the closure for commercial fishing around Ireland. I'm going to have to up my game, If I'm going to catch one per trip, instead of one per year.

Hi Mick They're yours. I can bring them to the December meeting. 01202 622820 07763 779089

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws." The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith." The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?" he priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith." The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, and sat thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

I've been having a bit of a sort out. Any good to anyone, I've copied them to DVD so the Videos are going in the bin unless someone wants them.

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer." "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop, "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no, no", said the old lady, "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knothole, real quiet like, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thingy through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'” "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" "Not everybody pays."

Probably getting in through the crack in the inspection hatch. A small crack will let in a surprising amount of water, especially if it's been there for any length of time.

Where are you? Anywhere near Poole?

I would say that you've found the reason it's slow. The boat would be very heavy with a lot of water under the floor. I think your only solution will be to cut out the floor so you can remove the foam and find out where the water is getting in. Then bond the floor back in. You cold either fill the space with plastic balls as used in a children's play area or do as I did with the Pilot International 520 that I had and leave the area empty. 40hp sounds a bit small for that boat, my Pilot International 520 (very similar boat) was fitted with a 50hp and it struggled to get on the plane at times. Although that could be down to the fact it was quite an old engine, so was probably well down on power. Hope this helps and hasn't disheartened you.

Thanks Dave. At the moment I use OziExplorer. I transfer all my tracks from my Lowrance to it and my waypoints are backed up with it. The only drawback is it uses scanned paper charts. I'm considering getting NavPlanner.

Has anyone used NavPlanner? Is it any good?

You can't fish for bass from a boat in the nursery area between 30th April and 1st Nov, regardless of the bait/method used and any bass caught must be returned You can't use sandeels for any type of fish in the nursery area between those dates.

No problem Ron. Just didn't want you to get into trouble.

Ron Boat's obviously coming along nicely. I don't know where your mooring is, but if it's inside the Bass nursery area of Poole Harbour any Bass caught between 30th April and 1st November have to go back. In fact you're not permitted to target them during that period. Outside of that period the 3 bass bag limit per person applies.

Happy Birthday Mal