Brian

The following is purported to be an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago. Yours truly, Patrick Finnegan Dear Mr. Finnegan, We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot. Sincerely, Irish Railway Company Gentlemen, I am in receipt of your letter, and indeed I think you are the ones who are confused in your history If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass That Gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years Yours feckin truly Patrick Finnegan

I've sent the link to a friend who is looking for something like this.

Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favourite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...

Done

I second everything Greg said. Thomas enjoyed himself, spent the evening sorting out his fishing tackle and then cooking and eating his mackerel. I emailed the photo, of Diane accepting Tamzin's prizes, to Tamzin, she's over the moon. We'll done Sam, you get my vote for next year's junior comp organiser.

Thomas caught: Mackerel Corkwing Wrasse

Fishing Alfresco- jayden, sam and dom Awol- daniel and macey wight magic 2- Jacob, Jack Marlin- Bradley MegaByte - Thomas BBQ Thomas, Brian, Diane Martin Veronica Daniel Macey Anthony Charlotte Lewis Jenny

I'm told the Bournemouth beaches were alive with whitebait and mackerel last night.

He had his passport and visa for the USA, so at least they wouldn't have turned him back!!

Some village is short of it's idiot.

Yes. Take care and double check everything.

The boat does not need to be registered. The Call Sign and MMSI number will be issued with the Ships Licence.

The British Border Patrol is asking citizens to keep on the lookout for a red 1951 Chevy that they suspect is being used to smuggle illegal immigrants from Calais to Dover, through the Channel Tunnel. If you see the vehicle, pictured below and have reason to believe that it is the suspect vehicle, you are urged to contact your local police. V V V V

Brains of the elderly are slow because they know so much.... By Sarah Knapton, Science Correspondent Older people do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full up, so too do humans take longer to access information, it has been suggested. Researchers say this slowing down it is not the same as cognitive decline. “The human brain works slower in old age,” said Dr. Michael Ramscar, “but only because we have stored more information over time. The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.” Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. It is NOT a memory problem; it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise. Well, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

Go to services.ofcom.org.uk When you've completed your details, you'll be able to print off your ships licence (MMSI number will be on the licence).

If it's just fore storing and launching, not trailing on the road none of the above applies.

I assume you want a cover like this. I'd go to Cut'N'Cover.

Ian. Might be worth asking Yellow Penguin to investigate, they fitted the engine originally. Or ask Luke at Saltwater Solutions (next door to Yellow Penguin), he used to work for Yellow Penguin and he fitted it.

Thanks Gents, Black it is then.

Hi Is this a Couches Bream?

Just passed the results on to Tamzin and Thomas. Tamzin isn't going to let Thomas forget that she beat him!!!! She's just disappointed that can't fish the next comp. as she'll be away.

Hi Jamie. I see you're back in the water, what happened about your prop shaft?