Jim

My was mowing the lawn when his young son comes running out of the house calling to him. “Daddy, daddy, what’s sex?” asks his son ... For a moment my mate's dumbstruck but then decides that if his son has asked the question, then he must do his best to answer it. For the next few minutes dad talks about the birds and the bees, then human relationships, love, the sex act, having babies – in fact he does a pretty good job of covering every aspect. Eventually he comes to a stop when he sees how oddly his son is looking at him. “Why did you want to know?” my mate asks. “Well, Mummy said to come out and tell you that dinner........... would be ready in two secs!!"

My mate says you know you're getting old when: He was watching Babe Station last night. There was this gorgeous girl in a skimpy little French maid's outfit, pushing a vac around, bending over provocatively. And as her little skirt rode up, exposing her lovely little bottom with the little strip of black material covering her crack,all I could think was........ ... "We used to have a Hoover like that one!!"

Yorkshire people are very fond of their Tea ! - - - - - - In fact . . . . . . . - - - - - They’re so fond of their Tea . . . . . . - - - That they add it to every word ! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - T’car T’pub T’wife T’internet

As the boys just said: This is correct and means you like it. If you press the Unlike button you will remove the " like " ( I assume )

I'll take a look tonight Rob. Our works T'internet is slow as **** Jim

Well done on all your hard work Sam ! Well done to all those juniors that took part. Jim

Happy Birthday Dan. Don't hear much from you these days. Hope you're having a good one. Jim

Very good Rob.

Happy Birthday Mr, Dogfish ! Sorry it's late Dave. Jim

Now you're gonna be FOR IT ! !

Jolly decent of you Allan. Cheers. Jim

" The last one we picked out of a few that were circling the boat. " Were you on JoJo ? Were the sharks licking their lips ? ? Jim

Nice offer Allan. I'm already booked or would have taken you up on that. Jim

Didn't need any food Rob I was " awash " with GIN ! Only joking !

I took this and a few more Adam. I'll get them on a disk for you. Martin: Once again, thanks for a great day out. Fantastic boat. quite a few fish and you're not bad company too ( for an old fella ) My legs are sore today from kneeling down and cleaning all them fish out. Cheers. Jim

Oh Dear ! We all need to get out a bit more !

Wicked ! Thanks Martin. I was gonna get me little Tiddler out ! See you in the morning. Jim

Hi Martin, I'd love a trip on the new boat. ( if there's a space still going ) What time & how long will we be out ? Jim

Happy Birthday Steve. Shame about the weather. Even a boat like yours doesn't want to be out today ! You'll have to have an extra slice of cake instead ! Jim

But I'm not clever enough to use them Brian. I doubt if I can even find where they're stored ! Jim

And I've got all your old fishing marks :D No chips though !

Bu**er !

Indeed ! Well done Adam. Jim

Happy Birthday Barry. Jim

Don't BUMP it Mick you'll break it !