Graham Nash

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird. "I had tolio as a child," he answered. "You mean polio?" she asked. "No, tolio . The disease only affected my toes." When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked "What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!" "As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained. "You mean measles?" she asked. "No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees." The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer. As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear. "Don't tell me," she said. "Let me guess... Smallcox

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http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/monster-fish-caught-off-florida-coast-21015821

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/dad-nearly-castrated-after-testicles-2158476

I bought myself a 240v/110v generator about 12 years ago. Used it once on a building site and sat it in the corner of my factory. I then used it a few tiimes to power lighting in a field for football training a couple of years ago, then it sat in the corner of my factory again. Well, I no longer have said factory and I am now paying for it to sit in the corner of a storage unit. I have the original unopened instruction book and tool kit (in fact ive just opened the pack to see what was in it!). I am open to sensible offers, probably perfect for a market stall holder, site worker, caravanner, or maybe even a larger boat??

A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, 'OK, so how many sales did you make today?' The Aussie said 'One!' The manager groaned and continued, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?' '£124,237.64p.' The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64!! What the hell did you sell him?' 'Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook and then I sold him a new fishing rod.' 'Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Power Cat.' 'Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x4 The manager, incredulous, said, 'You mean to tell me...a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4?' 'No, no, no... He came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend and I said... ' Well, since your weekend's buggered, you might as well go fishing.'

I am about to do a bit more work on my boat and one thing I am considering is removing the back "wall" of my cabin to open it up and make it a stand up cuddy. I find I rarely use the cabin as I get seasick inside, and I don't really like driving while completely enclosed as there are too many blind spots, plus there is lots of wasted lost space in corners etc. Removing the rear wall would enable someone to sit on the drivers seat (which is mounted on a turntable) and fish giving a little more deck space, it would eliminate the lost corners and it would remove the blind spots. It would however be exposed to the elements (although I have no doubt Cut n cover could make me a curtain or something)? .... so, what is others preferences?

while walking my hounds along the beach at Baiter this evening I came across a dead dolphin .... The Coastguards were already on the scene donning their dry suits etc. It took 2 of them to pull it up the beach and it was about 5 - 6ft long. A magnificent creature but such a shame

While walking my dogs recently I have noticed a blue boat with grey cuddy and twin 40hp engines anchored not far from the slip way. Anyway, this morning I noticed it had gone ...... but when I got to Whitecliffe |I noticed it on the rocks there!! I think it might be a Taskforce (around 18ft) It looks cared for, it doesnt seem to have a name, twin mercury (or mariner) grey 40hp engines, dark blue hull, grey top and cuddy, I didnt have my phone with me to photograph it but I have phoned harbour control since getting home.

On my boat I have 2 huge internal fuel tanks.that look like the boat was built round them! Ive never used them as they were both full of brown yukky water , which im sure has entered over the years via the breather pipe, which was cut off flush with the boat.. I would like to use them (maybe cut the top off one and use it as a bait well and the other as a fuel tank, maybe both as fuel tanks, who knows?) so today I uncovered one to see how it sits. I syphoned all of the water.out but want to know is that good enough? I would assume these tanks are probably the best part of 50 gallons so any remaining water would be absolutely minimal in comparison. Also, the fuel pipe is connected via what looks like a standard connection .... but this had corroded beyond any recognition any ideas anyone? If I were to just fit a pipe into the tank, held to the bottom (as I did to syphon it) would this work for the fuel or do these fuel tanks need a partial vacuum to build up pressure??? Sorry if these are stupid questions but maybe i'm just stupid Thanks in advance. Graham.

I was invited to make numbers up on a short charter trip Friday evening .... I'm not a great fan of charter trips after my last experience on one of the more highly recommended local boats/skippers but as it was only a 5 hour trip I thought I'd give it a go. It couldn't have been more different! Real friendly skipper "ANDY" on Random Harvest 11 took us out at 5.30 and had us back at 10.30pm Only a couple of the other clients had fished before (and there were 3 kids there too) I only knew one other person but the skipper kept everyone in refreshments, had a selection of equipment and bait ready for everyone and generally made sure everyone had a great time. He put us on the fish so everyone caught. About 50 bream (only about 6 kept) a million pout!!, few doggies, mackerel, a solitary dab and I had a smoothy. Anyone wanting to break youngsters in gently could do worse than go with this guy. Graham.

My 20ft boat is sitting on a huge trailer, The front extension protrudes 7 or 8 feet out in front. This obviously takes up extra room in my yard and in the car park but more importantly makes it very difficult to get the boat out of my yard due to a tight turning spot just outside my gate. Is there anyone in the club (or do we have a preferred engineering company) that would preferably visit my place, chop the main beam and re bolt the tow hitch to the shortened beam?? Obviously i'm expecting to pay the going rate. Graham.

well ... i got her out complete with engine yesterday. theres a report on the kayak bit of the forum but to say im pleased would be an understatement! Around the harbour, out to the end of the training bank and back. out for about 6 hours and used less than £3.00 worth of fuel without breaking into a sweat once! This is at about 1/3 revs on the way back in at about 8pm once the breeze had picked up a little.

Engine attached :-) just need a tiller extension then ...... we're off should still be able to reach those shallow parts too

that sounds like a plan Paul :-)

Yes Chris, I intend on putting some plastic/rubber edging on the corners (like found on a new saw blade when you buy one). I dont want my dry suit ripping!!

April 14th and once again wind stops play. So, I decided to try a little mod to my new toy. The Nucanoe optional extras list shows a stand up casting bar. This looks like a great addition and offers a simple handlebar to assist in standing, casting, balancing and sitting. Maybe even a place for rod rests etc. Unfortunately this optional extra is over £150!! As an aerial man I have plenty of aluminium poles and clamps etc. A trip to B&Q got me a bit of angle aluminium and i was off :-) My idea was to utilise the existing fixing rail on the Nucanoe So with a trusty drill I fixed the angle alli to this rail Next some 1" uprights and a couple of removable braces :-) This all folds down for rowing (if required) and is easily pulled up into position when required Just need some weather now to try it :-)

OOps, I put this in the wrong section earlier so am copying it here too. I am on the look out for the smallest outboard i can find 2-2.5HP max. Must be good coz im no mechanic and also needs tiller throttle. Short shaft. Maybe an electric if need be. Graham 07710911921 thanks. .

I am on the look out for the smallest outboard i can find. Must be good coz im no mechanic and also needs tiller throttle. Short shaft. Maybe an electric if need be. Graham 07710911921 thanks. .

I have downsized my business and have 2 vans too many. I have a 2002 Fiat Doblo high top (pig ugly but good condition,very economical and great runner) 80 odd thousand miles, new exhaust, roof bars, lined.. Is being MOT'd by Nigel today so should have 12 months MOT by tomorrow. Private sale. Looking around £1200 NO VAT. 2005 Mercedes Vito. 139000 hard miles. tatty condition but runs perfectly. Tow bar.lined, roof rack. Around £3000 inc VAT 2011 Nissan Primastar. 35000 miles, Years gtee and a free service at 54000 miles remaining.Tow bar, full roof rack, door ladder, lined etc. offers. I can only drive one so any two could be doing with going, and i don't mind which 2 go as they are all reliable.. Graham.

I posted on here a few weeks ago about a new "stable kayak". Well, i'm interested in one so have the guy bringing one to baiter tomorrow around mid day for me to have a look and see just how stable it really is. It also has a transom for an engine!!! The puritan yakkers don't seem to like them (although they've never seen one in the flesh) so maybe you should have a look and see?? The weather looks ok.

Right, I am sure some of you youngsters will know exactly how to help me I have somehow lost my Adobe Flash player on my laptop. At first it had gone from my Google Chrome browser but was ok on Internet Expolrer 9. But as I generally use Chrome as my default browser I wanted it on there and every time I tried to download it I would get a banner saying "only one is allowed" or something like that. So .... I went into my computer settings and un-installed Adobe, Flash and everything to do with it and tried downloading it all again but i still get the same Ive reset the thing so it saves cookies etc but it's still messing me about Its now gone from Internet Explorer too!!! This is preventing me from seeing any videos, lots of pictures and is generally getting me close to picking up a hammer Any of you smart youngsters (or even smarter oldies) know what im doing wrong?? Thanks

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SruvUYMCvk[/media]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/...-man-video.html

Can we be seeing a window appearing for New Years Day? I hope my head can stand it if it does materialise.