A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed
him in front of a train.
He was chuffed to bits.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it... I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!
I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance.
Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were