Brian

Agreed, my point was that I've heard people say "I've got a good bilge pump so it won't be a problem", without realising just how much water they might have to cope with. An inflated lifejacket (spare), article of clothing, cushion etc. can be very effective wedged against the damaged area.

A radar reflector isn't going to protect you from those idiots.

"half a ton of water a minute". That's going to need a BIG bilge pump, 500 litres/min (approx 6,500GPH)!!!!!

Martin Does this mean we have to send a new application form to renew or do we just send a cheque?

Done

I hate to think of the fuel costs!!!

I've got 2 VHF aerials approx 14" apart, both connected to VHF radios (an ICOM and a Huson). Both sets are usually switched on, I've never had any trouble regardless of which set I transmit on, even on 25w (although the sets are not usually on the same frequency). I've also got a car radio connected to a CB aerial, which doesn't mind me transmitting on the VHF. The front end of a VHF radio should be designed to handle it without overloading.

Irish Maths Test An Irishman applied for a job on a construction site, but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a simple maths test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy," and proceeded to draw three trees "What's this?" the boss asked. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," said the Irishman. "Fair enough," said the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Irishman stared into space for a while, then picked up the picture that he has just drawn and made a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratched his head and said, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss was getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he said, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Irishman stared into space some more, then he picked up the picture again and made a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looked at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" The Irishman leaned forward and pointed to the marks at the base of each tree and said, "A little dog came along and crapped by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred." "So, when do I start?"

DORMITORY = DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN = BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER = MOON STARER DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES = THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH = HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE = HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY = IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS = LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT = IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES = THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: = TWELVE PLUS ONE MOTHER-IN-LAW = WOMAN HITLER

Take the Angling Quiz It's approx 2.5 Mb so it might take time to load.

No privately. Only used twice, chap sold the boat and purchaser didn't want the trailer. It'll carry 2,100kg upto 7.0m, 48 rollers + 3 keel rollers, so should carry my 1,500 kg with ease. Just got to convince SWMBO that I need a 4x4, rather than rely on my son-in-law!!! Up to now I've kept the boat on a mooring at Wareham and only brought it home occasionally for maintenance, but if launch and retrieve are as easy as I hope, I'll keep it at home, and save the problem of getting under wareham bridge, at high tide not enough clearance, at low tide not enough water.

Problem solved, I've got a Bramber Super Rollerglide

.........and they're allowed to reproduce and vote!!!

It would be interesting to see the same test done by a Yamaha product manager!!!

Anyone got a trailer for sale? My trailer has just about had it, so I'm in the market for a replacement. Before I go and spend a fortune on a new one I thought I'd see if there's a suitable used one available locally. Hull length = 20 ft (6m), weight approx 1.5 tonne.

What a plonker!! You'd think they might have moved away and fired a flare into it.

Here's a candidate to replace the secretary you fired!!!

#2 Although I keep my boat on a mooring, I bring it home once a year for maintainence and the extra 8" of #1 would make it a bit of a squeeze to get past when it's in the driveway.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION#

Didn't dare come home and say I'd had the cane, or I'd get a thick ear from mum.

There's a 78ft Sunseeker Here requiring a bit more than some TLC.

A Doctor was addressing a large audience at the BIC. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several secoconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake." - - - - - - - - - - - - - An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his hand luggage. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready. " The gentleman said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. visitors always have to show their passports on arrival in France!" The old gentleman gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. You should not confuse your career with your life. 6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (This one is very important) 7. Never lick a steak knife. 8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11. 12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. 13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 14. Your friends love you anyway. 15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. 16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with

Adam What can one say? Other than I can only imagine how you must feel.

Agreed, but it could be the thin end of the wedge.