Brian

If it turns out that my lathe isn't big enough, my friend had a larger one.

I've got a lathe Adam. It's old but should do what you want.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday Sam.

Might be worth stating the model.

I assume you've seen this picture of it.

Welcome to the Forum Neil.

Went yesterday and again today. Also walked along to Baiter, 7 stages with live music, stalls, food and drink. Then walked over to Poole Park to the food event.

The seven dwarfs always left to go to work in the mine early each mornng. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine. One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived. 'Hello...Hello !' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello !' For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is anyone down there?' Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, "VOTE FOR CORBYN " Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, 'Oh, thank you, God! ...At least Dopey is still alive !'

From this months "Saltwater Boat Angling".

Have a good one.

Wurzzel Gummage had a different head for everything.

Jeremy Hunt was doing an annual visit to a NHS hospital. As always he was looking for something to beat the NHS with to show how badly run and loss making thing...s were. While Hunt was checking the books, he turned to the executive of the hospital and said “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the middle of the roll ?" "Good question," noted the executive. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll. We recycle whenever possible" "Oh," replied Hunt,, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these coloured casts you dispense. Isn't it rather a waste of money?" "Ah, yes," replied the executive, realizing that Hunt was trying to trap him. "We ask that any patient wishing a coloured cast donates £1 which is far in excess of the 10p the colouring actually costs." Hunt asked a dozen or more questions with similar results. he was determined to fluster the know-it-all executive. "Well, What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?" "Here, too, we do not waste," answered the executive. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to government, and about once a year, at this time, they send us a complete prick."

Hi Martin You've logged in as a Guest. You need to log in as Gummage to see the Members Area. Cheers Brian

SCHOOL - 1950s vs 2017 Scenario : Johnny and Mark get into a fight after school. 1950s - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. 2016 - Police called, and they arrest Johnny and Mark and charge them with assault. Both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programmes for 3 months. School governors hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programmes. -------------------------- Scenario : Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students. 1950s - Robbie sent to the office and given six of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2016 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD – result deemed to be positive. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and school gets extra funding from government because Robbie has a disability. -------------------------- Scenario : Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1950s - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 2016 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care; joins a gang; ends up in jail. -------------------------- Scenario : Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school. 1950s - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with, passes exams and becomes a solicitor. 2016 - Police called, car searched for drugs and weapons. Mark expelled from school for drug taking. Ends up as a drop out. -------------------------- Scenario : Johnny takes apart leftover fireworks from Guy Fawkes night, puts them in a paint tin and blows up a wasp's nest. 1950s - Wasps die. 2016- Police and Anti-Terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly in an aeroplane again. -------------------------- Scenario : Johnny falls over while playing football during morning break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. She hugs him to comfort him. 1950s - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing football. No damage done. 2016 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy and ends up gay.

Just seen that Fisheagle won with 15 species. Well done.

How did people do?

An Israeli doctor said, "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work." The German doctor said, "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man and in 4 weeks he is looking for work." The Russian doctor said, "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another man's chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work." The Scottish doctor just laughed and commented, "You are all way behind us. Thirteen months ago, we took a woman with no brains, no heart, and no balls and made her first minister of Scotland. Now, the whole of Scotland is looking for work!"

Happy birthday to you both.

Happy birthday

Happy Birthday Kam

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Xv1tMioGgXI?rel=0

An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees! 'What powerful rivers! 'What beautiful animals! He said to himself. Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look .... . . and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could along the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him .... He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer .... and then ..... He tripped and fell. Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him ......... reaching towards him with its left paw ..... and raising the right paw to strike ... At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!' Time Stopped ... The bear froze ...... The forest was silent .... A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky ... "You deny my existence for all these years, you teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident ........ Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?" "Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light ...."It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now ... but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?" ... a pause ... "Very well," said the voice ... The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed .... the bear dropped his right arm ... brought both paws together ... bowed his head & spoke... "Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive. Amen."