Brian

Had to eat out, couldn't break the habit.

What about toughened glass, you could fit wipers then.

Dear Sirs, I have a very complicated Benefits Question: Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18-year-old daughter. After the wedding, my father, a widower, came to visit a number of times, and he fell in love with my step-daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorization. As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law. My father's wife (also my step-daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter's mother. This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father. As you can see, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife. Therefore, it appears that I am also my wife's grandchild. A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle. My son is also my step-mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather. In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the following: Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law, and my step-mother's brother fulfill the requirements for receiving childcare benefits? Sincerely yours, Mohammed THE ANSWER: Of course you qualify Mohammed! I have arranged to start mailing cheques to all of you just as soon as you arrive here in UK Welcome! Jeremy Corbyn.

:lol:

Happy birthday Martin, have a great day.

And mine. Thanks

Thanks everybody.

"Bless me father-- for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, it is. "And, who was the woman you were with?" "Sure and I can't be tellin' you Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."... "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?" "I cannot say." "Was it Patricia Kelly?" "I cannot say." "Was it Liz Shannon?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Morgan?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Fiona McDonald, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad,Tommy Shaughnessy,and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church mass for three full months. Be off with you " now!" Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over to his seat and whispers "well... what'd you get?" "Three months vacation and five good leads."..

Happy Birthday Jamie.

That many candles would be too risky.

Wife: "Do you want something to eat"? Husband: "What are the choices"? Wife: "Yes or No".

Happy birthday Ian.

Happy birthday

A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald's house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.” Donald replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.” The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Donald said, “Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.” The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?” Donald said, “I’m going to raffle him off.” The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!” Donald said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.” A month Later, the farmer met up with Donald and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?” Donald said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2495.” The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?” Donald said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.” Donald has moved into the White House. Wonder how they will pry him out.

Happy birthday Richard.

Happy birthday Ian

Happy birthday Jon

Happy birthday Dave.

If anyone is offered a cheap Warrior 175 !!!! Derek Cripps · 4 hrs Stolen from Kent this morning. Warrior 175 export - Cattfish 100hp suzuki Sbs trailer with S5000 superwinch loaded with dyneema. Lowrance 9" downscan/plotter and 5" elite plotter. Simrad vhf Plus various rods and reels. Please make this to hot to handle!!

Happy Birthday Kevin.