great white

The finest double entendres on British TV & Radio Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's just come in his shorts" Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes To use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself." Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World super bike racing: "Colin had a hard one on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard one on now." Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs andlikes what he sees." Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil tell us about your amazing third leg." Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this." James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Rubens Barrichello?" Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69." Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions." Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets in the Wild,told Trude: "There's something big growing between my legs." Carenza Lewis about finding food in the middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it." A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer)is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out His balls and kisses them... Oh my God!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!" Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." Pat Glenn - Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

Good Man Thanks

Bob Come around for a demo if you like I have a bit of gellcoating to do Charlie

I think you tweak the buttons on the front

Nice report duncan and a good eel I hope that you have sent a catch report through, as its over 100% specimen size Well done on the PB, not trying to sneak a big eel while I am OOA are you? Go for it mate Charlie

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants. The I-Breast will cost between $499 or $599. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

I find it hard to believe that anyone would accelerate to pass under a bridge, on a cruise ship with a pilot onboard. but then again I would not have believed Freds incident if it were not on film. imagine the incident report to the MCA we just clipped the bridge ??? Charlie

Hi Bob As Peter says its all about matching the colour and getteng the set time correct by judging the amount of catalyst to add Peter is the main man for these repairs but if I can help give me a bell I also have some at home if you need some You can apply many ways but I think I would brush it over that area, a couple of coats without wax then a waxed topcoat was the advice I recieved To build up thickness to allow for flattening with wet and dry before polishing, Charlie

Nice fish Dom Hell of a Cod to start with, and a good contender for the fish of the month. Actually its not far off the heaviest cod recorded last year so it certainly sets a good target for the 2007 cod trophy. I no doubt have been sent a catch report. Duncan I like the photo mate well impressive Well done Charlie

How True I will now go home feeling Happy and play with my new toy in the garden. Charlie

What a beauty When is she getting wet Fred? Charlie

Following requests by Members and the Jan Committee meeting our competition program has been agreed. Following a couple of sponsor confirmations I will soon type it up for distribution with the Feb Newsletter and hope that the changes meet with Members approval and encourage a bigger participation in our comps. I hope you like the changes At this early stage We wanted to let everyone know that Andy at Poole Angling Centre has agreed to sponsor 9 prizes [Rods] that will be awarded to Members catching the best fish of the Month. at the meeting it was agreed that the Club will purchase 3 more rods so that these prizes can be awarded for all 12 months. Our Fishing year Runs from January to the end of December so in fact this competition has already started. Members will only be eligable to win one of these Rods in a 12 month period, if A Member gets the best fish for more than one month he will still be awarded the Fish of the month trophy but the rod will go to the next eligable fish by its specimen percentage. The Trophys will be awarded at the Dinner and Dance but the Rods will be awarded at the next one of our Monthly Club Meetings. As Jan is rapidly going I thought it important to let as many people know as possible and encourage you to report all fish that you catch Very Tight lines Charlie

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep &. Schitt Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living With them she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt. So now if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them. Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family!

Hi Carl Well done mate, nice to know that we sea faring types are still willing to look after each other. Some peoples lack of knowledge and experiance is no reason to ignore them when in peril. I hope that your fish was not a prizewinner Charlie

I am sure the people on that coast love that 4 engine boat roaring past so close inshore. At planning speed the wash will not be huge but the annoyance would be Charlie

Wish I had seen that a year ago I could have been fishing last summer Just what I needed a boat ready to go all hard work done. NOT Charlie

Hi Adam Its Sad to see them go mate, but I am sure you will get a good replacement Charlie

Mike F The spots we look for off anvil point are 36 to 42 metres deep therefore if the tide is running and to be sure the metal bites a long warp is required. A nice day and neap tide 3:1 would work but that is still over 100 metres of warp. loads of members have failed to get their anchors to hold when trying to fish these marks without sufficient size of anchor, amount of chain or length of warp. Ask the lads from Burnham, they tried to share marks and failed due to mud anchors and short warps Mad Mike We can not paint all Yachties with the same brush But i am sure more members have been cut up or crowded out by a Yacht under sail than have returned the favour. I will not elaberate here, but they do not like fisheads in their sails even if they were close enough just to lob them in as the sailed past my anchored boat 2 miles out. charlie

Hi Does anyone know of someone who will look at a digital camera [Olympus 450 zoom] The lens on mine has taken a knock and will not retract, Olympus say send it back and we will do a standard charge repair

Jas The oportunity to test the boat for fit have instruction and an extended sea trial on an identical boat without a baised opinion for

Not arguing with that Pete "Providing the anchor and chain are up to the job" is the essential bit IMHO was just advising that half a coiil or less may be too short if combined with light chain and anchor in depths over 100ft Bigger anchor and heavier /longer chain is the other option of course. How are the boat building projects going Charlie

Hi Mike I have a feeling that I may regret this but please confirm meaning of wafi's as in That's a hell of a scope Charlie, 5 to 1! I thought the Wafi's used 3 to 1 for overnighting with no anchor watch. For an all chain system that most yachts seem to use 3;1 would be fine but the system we use of a short chain and long rope 5:1 is recomended especially in areas wher the tides are strong and ground is soft or loose [shingle Banks] As Adam says, best anchor well away from a wreck and lay on a longer warp, than try and anchor close, the anchor bounces out and guess where it finishes up!!! in the wreckage never to be seen again [unless a dive boat is close] GW carried a coil [220m of 12mm nylon] and at times off of anvil Point and St Albans most of it could be out. Back to the start of topic It is not just about type of rope and feel it also needs to be strong and durable. The cheap ropes are neither. Nylon can get chaffed and scruffy and will still be strong, the cheaper types would not fair so well. The rope strops on our Club Moorings at PYC are light and extremly strong , but chaff away and melt if rubbed on a chain riser. Result is an unmanned boat cruising the harbour on wind and tide. I hope that helps in some way Charlie

Billy I may have missed it but have the fishing times and boat leaving and returning times been mentioned. I am sure my lad Dan will be very interested, and we could share transport with other parents on a rosta if other Members kids are fishing. Charlie

Hi Coddy You seem to have all the advice already I tend to only use a second anchor/stake when essential and only in the harbour. outside I use a Sea anchor if required, my current has a line to collapse it for recovery. I lost one as the tide built up while I was busy fishing and I could not recover it in the strong tide flow. I could not weigh anchor or recover the sea anchor so the sea anchor had to go [i should have buoyed the line, then weighed anchor and chased after it, but the rope was burning my hands and had to just lose the sea anchor ] lesson learnt the hard way again Charlie

Jack as the vehicle depreciates have you reduced the insured value? You would not be paid more than that, so not much point in paying premiums on the 12k they would not pay you. Being over insured is as bad as under insured Charlie