Maverick Martin

A very Happy Birthday Andy, hope it's been good Martin

Excellent Jim you nearly had us, I nearly went out today but decided to take the prop off and run it over to prop solutions for repair nearest I've got to a trip so far this year but did step on my boat

Happy Birthday both Martin

Smack 578.1 Super Smack 3589.5 Extreme 889.6 What Sad gits we are

Super smack 3498.8 now 3571.5 now 3589.5

489.7 before I got bored now 578.1

A very happy birthday guys hope you all had a good day Martin

Well done on getting out and getting a flounder. I had a day with the grand children in the forest splashing about in the streams, no fish there

Owing to the sensitive nature of the situation...they all agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from. After the surgery..... everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than ever ! All his Friends and relatives raved about his youthful appearance...especially his mother! One day, while alone with his wife, and overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?' 'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.'

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Oi Paddy, what ya doing?" Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor.

Happy birthday guys

That's what Brian said

My wife hosted a dinner party for all our friends and their children. During dinner my wife’s best friend ( Diane's) four-year-old sitting opposite, stared at me continuously. She could barely eat her food for staring. I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, patted my hair in place but nothing stopped her from staring at me. I tried hard to ignore her but finally it was too much for me. I finally asked her “Why are you staring at me?” and the table went quiet waiting for her response. The little girl said “I’m just waiting to see how you drink like a fish.”

stuff that

Happy birthday Paul

ALWAYS ASK, NEVER ASSUME His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'. The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides' 'Why?' asked the pilot. 'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.' The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?' "Life is short. Drink the good wine first."

Happy birthday Tom

Thanks guys, just getting ready to go out and partake in scoff and wine

Happy birthday guys. They say the sun shines on the righteous.......well it's hissing down so I guess you're not Have a great day

A man had two of the best tickets for the Rugby World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No .... ," he says, "the seat is empty." "This is incredible ...... !" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Rugby Cup Final, the biggest sporting event of the Rugby World and not use it ...... ? He says, "Well actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we haven't been to, together, since we got married ..... .... "Oh . . ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend, or relative, or even a neighbour, to take the seat ..... ?" The man shakes his head ... . ., "No ..... . They're all at the funeral."

Excellent news Nigel now crack the whip and we'll see you in Alderney Martin

I don't come on here very often but never suffered a problem so far. I guess Paul D will take a look later I'll report this post to him Martin

Q. What do you get if you cross the English cricket team with an OXO cube? A. A laughing stock. Q What is the height of optimism? A: English batsman putting on sunscreen. Q. What is the difference between an English batsman and a Formula 1 car? A. Nothing! If you blink you will miss them both. Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common? A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from. Q. What does an English batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson? A.They both wore gloves for no apparent reason. Q. What is the difference between Cinderella and the Pommies? A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball. Q. What's the difference between the Pommies and a funeral director? A. A funeral director isn't going to lose the ashes.

Yes Stuie their not rescheduling another date so the next open comp will probably be the Bream comp Martin

I was in a pub...... in far West Dorset last Saturday night, when this really brutally ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my arse and said, "Give me your number, sexy." I replied "Have you got a pen?" She smiled and said "Yes." I replied, "Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing."