Coddy

Extracts from letters written to local councils in England. 1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. 2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. 5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off. 6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? 7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. 8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. 9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy. 11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. 12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. 14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces. 15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me. 16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. 17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it. 18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. 19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife. 20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction. 21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2. 22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. 23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from

Senior Texting Codes I thought the following listing was appropriate. After all, the

Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones! Last month, Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men: 1) Argued over nothing. 2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. 3) Gained weight. 4) Talked excessively without making sense. 5) Became overly emotional. 6) Couldn't drive. 7) Failed to think rationally, and 8) Had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/s...000/2539173.stm It was 30 years ago tonight that they went out, never to return. R.I.P. Guys, we all owe you. Dave Link now working - sorry

Super fish well done! Dave

AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! Dave

I see there is a large picture of Adam hodling a pollack but no additional info in the latest magazine. Good photo however. Dave

Hi Stu Welcome to the site. If you do join the club you will gain access to more areas of the site including suggested marks to help new skippers. Hope to see you at a meeting soon. Dave

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEAL Hope you had a great day Dave

I hope this is not too risky Dave Little Hodiaki The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Hodiaki a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775', he said. 'Very good!' Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?' Again, no response except from Little Hodiaki, 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'. 'Excellent!', said the teacher continuing, 'let's try one a bit more difficult...' Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?' Once again, Hodiaki's was the only hand in the air and he said: 'John F. Kennedy, 1961'. The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, little Hodiaki isn't from this country and he knows more about our history than you do.' She heard a loud whisper: 'F . . K the Japs,' 'Who said that? I want to know right now!' she angrily demanded. Little Hodiaki put his hand up, 'General MacArthur, 1945.' At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.' The teacher glared around and asks, 'All right! Now who said that!?' Again, Little Hodiaki said, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.' Now furious, another student yelled, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!' Little Hodiaki jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouted to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!' Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' Little Hodiaki frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the child witness testifying against him, 2004.' The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, We're screwed!' Little Hodiaki said quietly, 'The Greek people, 2011.'

Hi Allan Sorry to read the news Hope you better soon. At least you are not missing anything in this wind and swell! Dave

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROB Good to read you had a good day Dave

Tommy Smith asked me to post this picture of a 27lb Cod caught on Illusion last Friday by Daniel Bush Dave

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN Hope you have had a good day. Got that coffee machine fixed yet?? Hope to see you Thursday at the club night Dave

Rob Much of what I have explained at club meetings about this subject should be in the club meeting minutes. As promised I will keep the club members informed of what is going on following the various meeting I attend. Dave

Good to hear the news Trev I think I saw you going past the RNLI as I was slipping my boat in. Seems like Otter is going well, well done in getting her sorted out in the end Dave

I did not enter the comp as I felt the conditions earlier in the week was condusive for my boat, however the pull of the sea made me stick the nose of the boat out of the harbour to see what conditions were like. As it seemed ok close in I carried on and dropped the hook down at X-Ray. As I was on my own I did check in via the radio to a club boat just to say I was out here. Well seems the LSD were out in force as I too had only doggies and condtions were not too bad but by 2.30pm I had enough of rock and roll and so headed back. What a great ride it was surfing down the waves at 18kts and slow up to 10kts gong up hill again. Saw some boats out closer to home but not sure how they did. Glad everyone stayed safe. Dave

Just a thought, I passed a shop called (I think) Shortwave in Christchurch today who advertise they repair radio's including marine! They are just over the railway bridge on Fairmile Road. Might be worth a chat with them. Dave

Dan If you have a lokk at my web site I have a number of reports from owners and mags on various boats. See signature link at the bottom of post. Might give you some more ideas. Dave

I was out today with Allan on Kind of Magic. We too tried the 50 50 area to start with but I managed a single doggie and that was it. As it was a tad lumpy for Allan we upped and moved insure a bit towards the spoils but again nothing except a doggie to Allan! Moved inshore again but was just as lumpy and just no fish!! I can't believe that with the number of boats around the area today and only managed a few doggies between us all. Good luck if you try out there on Sunday. Got a message tonight that a 30lb+ Cod had been caught in nets close in but thats one hell of length of nets and one good fish! Where have all the Bay fish gone? Thanks for the trip Allan shame no fish ps Pirky, what was up with yur radio? I was calling you and Little Sal answering your calls. Did you have the volume or squelch turned down? Dave

Hello Thomas The next fish you catch get Grandad to send details to me and I will send it to the Wessex Angling Trust so it can be entered into a monthly competition. Welcome to the club and I hope you keep getting bigger fish than all the grown ups Dave

Happy Birthday Terry Hope you will soon be wetting a line soon Dave

Had it been on the species list it might have won the Open comp! Dave