Brian

Thanks everyone. I managed to wet a line for a couple of hours this morning, on the beach.

Yep. I fished the beach at Hamworthy Park on Monday, I blanked but my mate had a 2lb 1oz flounder.

Latest Golfing Terms A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer A Diego Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't A Cuban - needs one more revolution An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect A Kate Moss - bit thin A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result A Rodney King - over-clubbed An O. J. Simpson - got away with it A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver A Robin Cook - just died on the hill A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you A Ken Livingstone - quite far left A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems An elephant's arse - high and sh*tty A condom - safe but didn't feel real good A circus tent - a BIG top An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target

Hi Mike, welcome to the club.

Five rules for men to follow 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other. Sincerely, Tiger Woods

Hi Steve Welcome to the club. If your mate Richard wants to join, point him in the right direction, it can be done online.

I was going yesterday, but the weather was @@@p, so I was sat here bored.

President Obama and Gordon Brown are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each. President Obama goes first: "What will the USA be like in 100 years time" The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out: "The country is in good hands under the new president, crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. There are no worries" Gordon Brown thinks "It's not bad this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks: "What will Britain be like in 100 years time?" The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout. But he just stares at it. "Come on Gordon" says Obama, "Tell us what it says" "I can't. It's all in Arabic."

A TRIP TO Tesco Yesterday I was at my local Tesco buying a large bag of Winalot biscuits for my loyal pet, Bruno, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Tesco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

I've just posted my membership. As you say, there's no one else fighting our corner.

I just found this on a caravaning site. "However slowly but surely, the EU is moving towards an introduction of MOT tests for all trailers under 3500kg and in the eyes of the law, a caravan is a trailer. In 2008 type approval for trailer (and caravan) chassis will be introduced. This will be followed by whole vehicle type approval in 2010 for complete caravans and trailers. In practice this will mean little change for the end user but considerable extra costs for manufacturers which inevitably will be passed on to consumers. Another consequence will be the fact that it will no longer possible to build your own trailer because the cost of getting it type approved would be prohibitive. Once these new regulations are in place, the next logical step would be MOTs for caravans and trailers. However to implement this, some sort of registration scheme would be necessary. There are a vast number of trailers and caravans in circulation and getting owners to register them would be an unenviable task. So the most likely route would be to start registering and testing trailers and caravans produced from 2010 onwards. Of course all this will cost money so it is not hard to imagine some sort of road fund tax to pay for it." It appears that existing trailers would be excempt. Until the government find a way of making money out of it!!!

It is. But there was certainly talk of introducing a new law, requiring trailers under 3.5 tonne to have an annual MOT of their own. Although it's gone very quiet.

I'll be there

I don't know, fishing sounds ok, all that crumpet and sitting there with your rod in your hand

Now this is what you call an Amphicar!!

WHO IS THE ODD MAN OUT - and more importantly - WHY?? Lord Stevenson: former chairman, HBOS Sir Fred Goodwin: former chief executive, RBS Andy Hornby: former chief executive, HBOS Sir Tom McKillop: former chairman, RBS John McFall MP: chairman of Treasury Select Committee Alastair Darling: Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown: Prime Minister and former Chancellor Sir Terry Wogan: presenter of Radio 2's Breakfast Show You're probably thinking Terry Wogan. You're right. However, the reason may surprise you........... Terry Wogan is the only one out of this motley crew who actually holds any formal banking qualification. Worrying, isn't it!

After all that, you'd better have a cup of tea.

Dave I could probably write it now. Launched at Cobbs Fished Blanked Recovered at Cobbs Came home

I put the batteries back on MegaByte, connected the hose, turned the key and it started before the engine had done half a turn. Just got to give it a shampoo and wax, then I think I might go and drown some worms on Wednesday!!

Yep. I think I might start MegaByte's engine tomorrow as well.

On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the local radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. Please park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowploughs can get through". So the good wife went out and moved her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. Please park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through". The good wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?" Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time."

Tony Have you looked on Boats and Outboards. There are some HERE from

Not much working either!!!

Hi Gary Welcome to the forum, you're certainly in the right place for advice and help. As far as buddying up, it's too cold for me at the moment. Where you based and where are you launching.

Nice report Mark. Two of us fished from the shore at Evening Hill ("The Top Flounder Mark" in your photos) from about 10:30 to 14:00 on Friday. Two rods each, so a total of eight hooks and not a single bite, the worms all came back intact.