Brian

That's not like you Jim Or you Derek.

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that's easy to understand. Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. I beg to differ because, there is. When you marry the right woman, you are "COMPLETE". And when you marry the wrong one, you are "FINISHED"! And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... "COMPLETELY FINISHED"!!!

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American Archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians". One week later, the British authorities reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire, Jack Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

Hi Dave Glad you got it sorted ok.

I wasn't going to say a thing.

Congratulations

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like this " HERE " without the inverted commas. Or click on the button marked "http://" and paste the address and then when it asks for a name type "Here" or whatever else you want to call it.

The skipper looks very relaxed towards the end, sitting there with his arm resting on the window sill.

Hi Nige I think I'd write to the Chief Constable and ask for an explanation as to why they weren't interested in tracking the iphone to help recover the controlled drugs.

Hi Johnny It's on WSF HERE

I see from WSF that Enticer has now been sold.

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you thought he was buried at sea!!!!

The best advice is: Don't put off till tomorrow, what you can do today. Then if you like it, you can do it again tomorrow.

I've been rumbled

A tough looking group of bikers were riding along when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss. After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up as a girl......"

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London .. A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. "McTavish , Scotland " he says, "Discus" and in he walks. The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder. "Waddington-Smythe , England " he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks. The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm. "O'Malley, Ireland " he says, "Fencing."

Hi. I came accross this on WSF and thought it worth posting here. From: Oliver, Tristan <Tristan.Oliver@dorset.pnn.police.uk> Date: Monday, June 6, 2011 8:29:06 AM GMT+0100 Subject: Urgent Dorset Police Marine Section Request Dorset police have arrested a male in possession of a : Dell Quay Dory 13 boat on FLETCHER single axled trailer with a brand new looking EVINRUDE engine fitted which was being towed by a van on false number plates at 2am in Christchurch a few days ago The boat is almost certainly stolen from the Dorset Area, possibly Christchurch or Poole area's. Serial numbers etc are on the engine. We really need to find out where this boat comes from and who owns it. Please circulate far and wide to help us try and find the loser as soon as possible please. Any information, please contact Dorset Police on 01202 222222 and quote crime number C:11:24215 This is a perfect example where property marking such as SelectaDNA could have been used, and we would now be contacting the owner to inform them that a person has been arrested with their boat! Regards APS Tristan Oliver Marine Section Poole Dorset Police

They obviously didn't have a safety chain (unbraked trailer) or safety cable (braked trailer).

Hi !! If you're interested in getting an iPad, I can get hold of them through a contact. The numbers are strictly limited and he has 10 iPads going for less than half price! First come - first served! He has already sold a couple (I've attached a picture so you can see what you're buying). They're from a cancelled NHS contract due to the cutbacks. Get back to me ASAP if you want one. Good luck..

Spoil Ground, it's where the dredgers dump their waste (Spoil).

A blind man walked into a pub, ordered a pint and said "do you want to hear a blonde joke. The barman sais I should warn you, I'm blonde, the bouncer is blonde and so is the guy sat next to you, do you still want to tell the joke? The blind man said "not likely, I'm not explaining it three times".

Ask who she's comparing you with!!!!