Brian

Happy Birthday Martin

Thanks everyone.

Hi Jamie As you say it was certainly cold. Managed to get to Force 4 so Diane could buy my present, two new Auto lifejackets and a fuel filter/water separator, went out to lunch and then took Diane shooting. The idea being she could buy me a new gun while we were there, but she didn't take the hint.

Thanks guys. Happy Birthday Jamie

So it does, I was looking for the same headline.

Not in my copy, you been on the plonk and got double vision?

Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from Liverpool . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he passes water.

The Bathtub Test During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

I see the open has got a mention in this months BFM.

Just found out my brother Dave has got altzheimers. Hope it doesn't run in the family, coz my brother Dave has got it as well.

I went to see Ready Steady Cook the other day. It was fantastic. Antony Worrall Thompson stole the show. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuffed up Worrall Thompson's jacket. Antony Worrall Thompson has been caught shoplifting milk, yeast and flour from his local Tesco. He's clearly run out of dough. There's no such thing as a free lunch. Unless you're using the Worrall Thompson recipe book. Antony Worrall Thompson stole some cheese and wine. And that was only for starters. Wozza was caught stealing cheese from Tesco. He should have done it more Caerphilly. I don't care what he's done, I'm still hanging on to my Antony Worrall Thompson blender. Better the Breville you know. Asked how he feels about stealing cheese, Antony Worrall Thompson admits it wasn't very mature.

This is uncanny!

This was in Hampshire, but they wouldn't want to sell the stuff too close to where it was nicked (if it was nicked). Anyone lost any boat bits, might be worth checking your boat. http://www.worldseafishing.com/forums/show...ad.php?t=794634

Things got off to a bad start, went to Castaways at Hamworthy to get bait, arrived about 8:15, closed, should open at 8:00. He finally turned up at about 8:55. Back home to get everthing on the boat and await Gerry. Just got everthing ready and hitched up when the phone rang, it was Gerry to say that he was stuck in traffic due to the road being closed at Sandford. We finally got launched about 10:30 and decided as we'd lost a lot of fishing time that we would stay in Holes Bay and make the most of what time we had left. I got a really good bite at about 12:00, only to loose it on the way up as the knot failed. (Note to self, check all knots). That was the only bite between us so at 14:30 we decided to head home. It was good to out in the sunshine though.

I'll be out Wednesday, not sure where but my crew wants to fish for flounder so it looks like we'll stay in the harbour.

Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing! At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march

From the other side.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION . "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC . "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.." 7. My mother taught me IRONY . "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISTS . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA . "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY . "If I told you once , I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY . "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home.." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE ... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR . "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS . "You're just like your father.." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS . "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM . "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." And my favorite: 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE ... "One day you'll have kids , and I hope they turn out just like you!!

Is this what all the fuss is about in Studland Bay?

And why no prison?

Put your other glasses on Martin I'm looking through the bottom of a Jack Daniels glass, doesn't appear to help!!!

For a Merry Fisher 580, my mate pays just over

Depends what you're dressing up as, French Maid? Nurse?

Mike If you mean the bracket that the radio fits in, no theyr'e not a standard size. I made one for the radio on a previous boat out of some stainless.

I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS. I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me. In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a conceal carry permit. I looked at her and ask if she had a weapon in her possession at this time. She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box. Something---body language, or the way she said it---made me want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console. Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of. She looked me right in the eye and said, "Nothing!"