A Rugby player goes the doctor after having his ears ripped off in a scrum.
"Doctor, what can I do? I've lost both of my ears in a scrum!!"
"Not much I can do, I'm afraid...oh, wait a minute, I do know a vet that has just amputated an ear from a dog and also an ear from a pig. Perhaps he can help you out. It's better than nothing."
So the Rugby player goes off to see the vet...
"Mr Vet, is there anything you can do, I've lost both my ears in a scrum...and I'm desperate to find replacements!"
"Well" says the vet, "this is your lucky day. I recently amputated a dog ear and a pig ear, and I just happen to have kept them. We can give it a try if you like. If you grow your hair long, no one will notice."
So, the vet sews on the ears...
Six weeks later the Rugby player goes back to the Dr for a check up...
"How are the ears, Mr Rugby Player?"
"Great!" he says pointing to the dog's ear. "I can hear a man whistle from two miles away!"
"And what about the pigs ear?" asks the Dr.
"Well, that's not so good, I seem to have a bit of crackling in it." BOOM BOOM!!!