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Failing that, Harry, Redline in Abingdon do them. Terry.

Alright you smug git! It starts when I get some bass. Can't be long, though. Terry.

Not yet, Martyn. For me, the bream show spring and summer starts officially when the bass turn up. Can't be long, though. Terry.

As I have nowhere to go I will make the effort to wish you birthday greetings chaps, even though only one of you will be able to access them. See what you're missing by clearing off to Alderney, Charlie! Terry.

Likewise, good scheme. Terry.

And to return the compliment, big it up to a local skipper who takes the future of his sport seriously. Terry.

Right, Chris, my 5 pennorth. Rods. A downtide rod is one that you stream over the back of the boat with the tide, i.e., you allow the tide to take your terminal gear away from the boat. An uptide rod is one used to do the opposite; you cast it uptide of the boat and obviously use a gripper weight as, without these, it would eventually become 'downtide'. A downrigger is a piece of kit to get your bait/lure to a determined depth. It is a short rod attached to the boat with a wire line on a large 'reel' with a depth counter. The lure is cast away from the boat and the line in front of the rod tip is then attached to a clip on the end of the downrigger line which has a large weight attached. It is then lowered to the desired depth where one can troll the lure/drift the bait at that depth where you hope the fish will be. when a fish strikes, the line detaches from the clip and the fish is then played in the usual way but without the hindrance of weights, etc. Choice of rods is not something I'm prepared to get involved in as everyone has their own favourites. However, I'm sure you will get plenty of advise from those more brave than myself. Over to you, Tom! Terry.

What make of vehicle? Terry.

Very enigmatic! Terry.

Ha! I've got two downriggers (also obtained at bargain prices) and they're going to be deployed livebaiting for bass this summer; also lure fishing around the Ledge, PJ, you're welcome to join anytime.I have got the technology and the techniques from A Man Who Knows in the States (brother-in-law) so I am keen to put it into practice here. Terry. p.s. Simon, let me have your 'phone number and I'll talk you through the technique for live baiting

Damn, just when I was beginning to feel safer on the roads! Terry.

Anyone married to a primary or infant teacher will recognise this sort of tale. They really do happen, my wife has come home with some real corkers over the years. Terry.

In many cases, this means the wife is smart and the husband is casual. Terry.

I guess the old adage of 'you pays your money and takes your choice' applies, as in all things. Terry.

Not quite right in my experience, Kam. I have been using these policies for years, with three different companies and they usually say it can be used for couple or single travelling but not two single trips to different places at the same time. Terry.

But do make sure you go for the concentrated option. Terry.

I can also recommend them and they also have an element of luck built into them. 3 years ago I damaged props twice at Mudeford and decided to go for the Turning Point option. I haven't hit anything since! Or maybe I'm learning. Terry.

My Warrior needs a couple of small jobs doing and a good polish if you're feeling really withdrawn. I can deliver. Terry.

Sorry, I've been rather pre-occupied with having my sister from Florida staying for the last few weeks. She's now gone so can catch up. Terry.

You'd never catch English pilots having this kind of sense of humour. I like number 7 Too rarely, Australian airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported :- (1) On a Flight to NZ with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." (2) On landing the hostess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have." (3) "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways to leave the aircraft." (4) As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Auckland, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" (5) After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Adelaide, a flight attendant on a Qantas flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted!" (6) From a Qantas employee: "Welcome aboard Qantas Flight X to Y. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised." (7) "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite. (8) "Weather at our destination is 32 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Qantas Airlines." (9) "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments." (10) Heard on Qantas Airlines just after a very hard landing in Hobart. The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite bumpy and I know what you are all thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault... it was the asphalt!" (11) Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." (12) An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying United. "He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had got off except for an old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?" (13) After a real crusher of a landing in Sydney, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tyre smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." (14) Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurised metal tube, we hope you'll think of Qantas." (15) A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number XYZ, non-stop from Sydney to Auckland. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - "SHIT! ARGHHH! OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Economy said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!" Terry.

Unfortunately it's about the time of my knee op so pretty sure I won't be lepping about around that time. Pity. Terry.

This week we celebrate a special birthday! Monica Lewinsky turned 34. Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth. They grow up so fast, don't they ? ....... Terry.

I have clicked on the link for Ewens Tackle Services but it only defaults to the PBSBAC home page. Any reason? Terry.

Summer's coming so here is the answer to those trips without hotel expenses. I am selling on behalf of an Australian friend who has returned to Oz, a Mazda Bongo Camper Van. These are highly collectable and it comes complete with everything you could need. It is a diesel engined vehicle with four wheel drive, very reliable and fully serviced, including a new cam belt and two new tyres fitted in December. Year is 1996 and I would say condition is very good indeed with no damage to the interior upholstery. It has electric windows, electric blinds in the back and standard curtains elsewhere to give total privacy, also air conditioning and a separate heater in the back. It has an electric/hydraulic pop-up roof where two kids could sleep comfortably and a double bed below. It also comes with a two man tent, two single and one double blow up mattresses with an electric pump to inflate, two sleeping bags, one duvet and pillows, a two burner cooker with 3kg gas bottle and assorted pots and pans, an electric kettle with UK plug and assorted continental adaptors. I would love to keep this vehicle for myself but can't justify it. Ideal for towing the boat and sleeping for away weekends. The book price is between

Thanks, Martin. I'll get the chart out. Terry.